Friday, December 21, 2012

Guest Post: For Getting Pants Off by Kris

~I feel truly honoured to have Kris doing a guest post, and man did I have to beg. Which she so kindly points out in the post (Can't even keep my begging secret). Give her warm welcome (she might acknowledge it)~

Me in my Xmas finest. Kid you not. It's summer here after all...

When you're an Aussie and you're, well, me, Christmas is all about being the season of drinking even more than usual and, hopefully, missing out on a trip to Emergency for alcohol poisoning by painstakingly planning every shot of tequila...

... as well as building up your tolerance levels throughout the year in time for the next holiday challenge.

Anyhoody, I was practically begged by GettingPantsOff to share my five favourite (please note correct spelling) Xmas Day drinks with you all. Given I'm the last person to judge such things...

The Five Drinks of Krismas! 

You're welcome.

1. Coffee

Not really a total shock when you think about getting totally pissed the night before. Pretty sure you didn't make a fool of yourself in front of your family; most of whom you won't see for another year and don't really give a toss about anyways, you're now running seriously late so you need to guzzle a pot of coffee in under an hour so you can contemplate the idea of preparing your contribution to Xmas lunch and, perhaps more importantly, facing yourself in the shower.

2. Champagne 

This comes after the shower, after you've had the phone call from your *insert immediate family member here*, after you've been reminded you need to finish putting together the trifle, after you've discovered you probably ate when you got home the night before because you had the munchies, after you've thought it explains a lot about, well, a certain mess, and after you've realised the coffee buzz has gone and you're in definite need the uplifting mood bubbles can bring.

3. Margaritas

You've arrived at the family lunch and go into standard survival mode, very grateful you've painstakingly planned for those shots of tequila.

4. Water

A liquid from which the ice for your margarita slushies was made. Known to be handy for guzzingly along with a handful of painkillers whilst thanking fuck you're finally home and can now pass out without any concerns of waking up with a Salvador Dali face because some dickhead relative bought your second cousin's ex's psychotic stepchildren face paint for Xmas. You praise the invention of birth control as you peacefully - and very quickly - drop face down - stilly fully dressed complete with paper crown - on your bed.

 Also used for washing the drool from your face when you eventually wake up and realise it's time for...

5. Champeritas

Just a little something you created about 10 years ago to use up the rest of the bottle of the morning's champagne together with the extra, just-in-case-of-emergencies margarita mix. With hardly any seediness at all, which is not really surprisingly since you're an expert at this, you can now relax in front of the telly and toast the fact that you won't need to do this for another year.

 The family thing, that is. Not the drinking.

Please note gratuitous boy candy.

Oh, and probably not the best idea in the world to try my five favourite (yep, it's still the same spelling) Xmas Day drinks without any kind of training.

Unless you're an Aussie, of course, and are therefore genetically gifted.


  1. I think I got alcohol poisoning just reading this post. ;)

  2. Woo! Awesome drinks, kris. except for the coffee, which I'm not a big fan of. Or Champagne which I pretty much hate, especially when I drink a lot of it after consuming a whole bottle of red wine. That wasn't fun.

    Hmmm, maybe I should just stick to tea and mulled wine. Not together in the same cup though cos that will be yucky.

    Merry Christmas!!

    1. It takes a great deal of training in order to survive 'The Mixing of Drinks', and drinking red and champers together should not be done by amateurs.

      And a Merry-non-vomity Krismas to you too. :)

  3. Lolol! That is all.

    Oh, wait, no it isn't. *glares at Kris* I want a friggin' guest post too!

    Also... Happy holidays to you both.

    'k, now that is all.

    1. Alcohol is not a laughing matter and should be treated with caution... or so my psych keeps telling me anyways. :P

      It takes a lot of sucking up to get a guest post from me. Just ask GettingNowehereWithUnderwear.

  4. Thanks for letting me remember all the things I want to drink and CAN'T!

    I think my liver got a nice shot of rememberence though, thanks ;-)

    I must admit you are a lot more classy then me, I didn't do the coffee in the morning. UDL can before school made life so worth while LOL! Tash xxxxxx


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