Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Guest Post: The Caring and Feeding of your Nerd, Geek, or Dork by Salome Wilde

While many writers of MM erotica and romance can’t get enough of beefy broncos or tasty twinks, there are plenty of us who enjoy main characters that reflect a wide and wonderful variety of gawky, gangly, and gitty gorgeousness. In service of the mission of Pants Off’s Geek Week, I offer the following classification of geeky types—both arbitrary and idiosyncratic, followed by a quiz to determine your ideal geeky type as a reader.

The Nerd: Hyperintellectual and at times fussy, the Nerd is the highest in social functioning of the geeky types. Has to be reminded there is a world outside the mind and that spontaneity is not his enemy. Can be pedantic, even in bed, but a little voice inside tells him he needs someone to shake up his world.

The Geek: The most obsessive of the types, the Geek doesn’t sail the seas of social interaction well unless he’s in his element of SF fandom, gaming, or doodling physics equations. Can be neat or messy, but never free of clutter—in mind or home. Still, there’s a heart strongly beating for companionship in there.

The Dork: Akin to the Dweeb and the Nebbish, the Dork is most likely to benefit from a makeover. While he may contain elements of the Nerd or the Geek, he is most defined by his social awkwardness, even unto cluelessness, and his lack of style. Lots of untapped potential is what makes the Dork most alluring.

Now that we have some clarification, on with the quiz!

First, put yourself in the position of your generally preferred mm romance character type and assume he is looking for geeky action. Next, envision the scenario of a casual blind date where you meet up at a coffee bar in a local bookstore (as if those exist anymore). Now, select your preferences by letter based on the following prompts.

1. On the t-shirt your date wears is:

a. An image of Einstein with mathematical equations floating around him.
b. An image of Einstein doing the Vulcan salute.
c. An image of Einstein in sunglasses, dappled with grease stains.

2. His conversation starter is:

a. “I’ve always been more of a tea drinker.”
b. “I prefer the Nicaraguan blend, but only iced.”
c. “Oh crudsicles, I’ve spilled my drink.”

3. His hair is:

a. Neatly trimmed.
b. Messy (or is that a failed attempt at style?)
c. In need of a good wash and trim.

4. When you invite him to come back to your place, he:

a. Blinks rapidly and sips his tea.
b. Replies with an offer to play WOW at his apartment instead.
c. Blushes and nearly kicks the table over.

5. When you walk out with him and push him up against the wall for a kiss, he:

a. Is flabbergasted, adjusts position, and then gives in.
b. Indulges with sloppy abandon.
c. Bangs teeth with you and almost bites your tongue, but doesn’t give up.

6. When you ask him for a second date, he:

a. Agrees genially, and insists on deciding the location.
b. Checks the calendar on his smart phone to make sure he doesn’t miss LARP night.
c. Is so astonished you want a second date that all he can do is nod vigorously.

7. When, sometime later, you end up in bed, he confesses his virginity, and:

a. Is a bit uptight about fluids, but you’re too in love to care.
b. Asks if you want to roleplay Battlestar Galactica, but you’re too in love to care.
c. Has no idea what he’s doing and almost falls off the bed, but you’re too in love to care.

Now total up your responses by letter:

Mostly A’s: The Nerd type suits you best.
Mostly B’s: Gotta be the Geek for you.
Mostly C’s: Get yourself a Dork and party on!
A Mix: Congratulations: it’s all good for you, and the categories I’ve come up with are as silly as they seem.

Closing confession: This post has inspired me with the idea of creating symbols for publishers to place on the back of books containing geeky characters to help classify them. Does that make me a nerd, a geek, or a dork?


Salome Wilde is the author of pansexual erotica and queer romance in diverse print and ebook collections. The first volume in her co-written mm romance novella series, After the First Taste of Love, is available from Storm Moon Press and features her beloved mixed-race nerd hottie Angelo delValle. Follow @salomewilde on Twitter and visit for more.

1 comment:

  1. ROFL Nice one :)

    Very cute choices as well.
    I got 3As, 3Bs, and 1C somehow, but I'm definitely keeping this one around. It's fun!


Go ahead and talk to me!