Guest Post & Giveaway: Lor Rose and the Battle of the Muses

Any author, writer, poet, songwriter, ect. has their domain. A place where their creativity happens. Mine has a desk: beautiful dark wood with all the things that make a desk organized and lovely. A sofa lines the adjacent wall with a low coffee table full of magazines and loose papers. A music player plays creating the perfect atmosphere for writing, plotting, or blogging. My cat sleeps in the corner atop her cat climb, her tail hanging over the edge with a slight sway.

Then, it happens.

"LOR! Lookie what I have for you! Come here." There he is. Animus the Muse storms in, and my door banging against the wall startles my cat. Some days, Animus and I get along, and some days I wish to flog him, tie him up, and toss his fine ass in the closet for a few hours. Animus is loud, obnoxious, overbearing, egotistical, snarky, abusive, flamboyant, rude, annoying, hostile, and a penis wrinkle. He's also very fond of heels and crossdressing. Did I mention he's bleach blond, silver eyed, and a twink? No? Oh, well. I just did. "I need to give you something!"

I inwardly cringe... Animus is never gentle when "giving" anything. It's always a painful slap across the face. Not that I mind such treatment, but every day? My face is sore.

"An, don't bother her! She's working." Dear little Epicene runs in after Animus, tugging the renegade muse away. It doesn't work. It never does.

Poor little Epicene is quiet, cute, sweet, compassionate, and subtle. I'm also very unsure of Epicene's gender. Epicene is probably the most androgynous being I've ever met. I'm much too polite to ask about the plumbing below (for now). Epicene's hair changes as much as my Twitter stream; some days it's blonde, purple, green, light/dark blue, or any combination of any color Epicene decides. Today, it's red with hints of a blond so blond it shines gold. I kinda like it.

"Uh, excuse me. I've something to share, and it will be shared, dammit!" Animus yanks his arm away with a sour face only a mother could kiss. Okay, that was a lie. "Mind your own business for once."

"But-"

"No!"

I sit and blink at the two arguing in my office. My cat does little to nothing except blink and roll over to avoid them in a way only a cat can. I wish I could avoid them so easily. Dare I say I envy my cat?

The two continue to argue over the process of delivering information to me. Animus feels smacking me is very appropriate, not to mention it leads to "other means". He's referring to our "therapy" session courtesy of a friend, but all it did was prove Animus is a good kisser, among other things.

"She's an author! She likes the pain. Duh. Hence the whole authorly thing." There he is folks. Animus, my muse.

Epicene growls, and it's sort or cute coming from her--or, uh, him. "She's our voice, not some thing to beat into high hell." There it is again, Epicene's fall back argument. I appreciate the sentiment.

The two argue and argue over a topic so beaten into submission I'm surprised it even has an once of life left. I ignore them for the most part and opt to write this post instead. I'm so used to the two fighting it's more second nature-ish now to write in the insanity that is my two muses... or crawl under my desk. The latter is more likely to happen.

Almost all of my writerly friends have admitted to having a muse (or several) or hearing "voice(s)" who tell them what to do. I think I'll email a few friends asking about their muses and see what they say. My friend Patricia Lynne replies first, "Nope, I don't despite saying I do. Usually when I say I do, it's just to put a metaphorical person to my writing woes." Since she's my friend I'll let her get away with denying that she's crazy.

S. L. Armstrong, one of the owners of Storm Moon Press said. "I don't consider myself to have a muse." She's already denying she's crazy. "I find inspiration everywhere -- a song, a line of dialogue in a movie, overheard conversations, whatever -- without attributing it to a muse whispering ideas into my head." Why is everyone denying they're crazy? "I will say that when I'm writing, I can see the characters in my mind and hear their voices in my head, but I consider that to be different than a muse who is separate from the story." As you can tell S.L. is denying the crazy factor. Maybe K. Piet, another owner, will admit it?

"When it comes to muses, I wouldn't really say I have one." K. Piet has let me down... "I don't have a named muse in my head when I write. I sometimes describe my thoughts as tied up with the character that I'm currently writing, but I never feel like there's a phantom-like entity that pokes me into writing anything." Are muses phantom-like entities? Animus says no... "I might not have a muse, but I tend to have inspiring music. A song can make me really eager to write a certain story or character. The two musicians who currently get the creative juices flowing are Ben Jelen and Adam Lambert."

In a way I think both S.L. and K. Piet have admitted to having a muse but just different variations. They don't have someones like Animus and Epicene but they do have something.

"EPICENE!"

As you can see, I've two warring muses on my hands. Right now, I'm playing it cool because I know you're all watching me, but let me assure you, I want to fall into a hysterical mess and pound my head against my desk.

It's exhausting, having two muses who fight all the time. They pull me back and forth, leaving little room to breathe. Animus switches things on me, and Epicene jumps his case for doing so. Some days, I want to kill them both. Which is swiftly followed by me blowing up... Poor Epicene flees to a place only muses can access, and Animus puts his hands on his hips and glares at me, making me feel like a big pile of poop.

The world of a muse is something Epicene told me about, giving me a very subtle idea for a WIP. My other muse may or may not have been furious about this, and this "incident" may or may not have erupted into another fight.

The two are so opposite that I feel torn. Maybe they need to get a room somewhere and let "things" unfold between them, because for me, it all seems like sexual tension at this point. But what do I know? I'm just an author of male-on-male smut. I know nothing.

Since I know nothing, I'm going to sit here, my head resting on my hand and stare at them arguing.

Muses... We writerly folk can't live with them, but I fear we can't live without them, either.

Lor Rose is an upcoming author at Storm Moon Press. Her short stories will be featured in various anthologies, including GLBT Coffee Break Quickies, Dracones, and Serve Me. She can be found on her website, on Twitter @Lor_Rose9009, or her Tumblr account, where she often shares commentary on erotic photos with her room-mates.

Giveaway Opportunity!

This guest post is part of Storm Moon Press' 3rd Anniversary Blog Tour! Comment on this post or any other post on the blog tour with your e-mail address, and you'll be entered for a chance to win the Grand Prize of receiving 1 FREE e-book each month of 2013 from that month's new releases for a total of 12 free e-books! Runners up will receive a $25 gift certificate to their choice of Amazon or All Romance eBooks. For more details and to find out about our 3rd Anniversary, head over to Storm Moon Press' Official Blog. Thanks for joining us!