Review: Do Svidaniya, Good-Bye by Cecilia Ryan

Reviewed by Buggy
Do Svidaniya, Good-Bye by Cecilia Ryan
Dreamspinner Press
Short Story: 76pgs
5 Pants Off

Blurb:
In the summer of 1890, Nathaniel, ninth in line for the British throne, meets Konstantin, his Russian counterpart. The two boys become playmates, then friends, then lovers, though circumstance and duty often separate them.

When the First World War devastates Europe, chaos and misinformation lead each man to believe the other lost forever. Nathaniel retires in despair, expecting to live out his days alone, never dreaming he might have a second chance….



Review:
Opening Line: “Nathaniel, this is Constantine.” Lady Rathbone nodded to him and then to the small blond boy standing next to a pair of adults whom Nathaniel assumed were his parents.”

This was only 50 pages long but they were a really, really good 50 pages. Well written suspenseful, heartbreaking, surprising, uplifting and just beautiful, I’ll definitely be searching out more from this author. Also complete in terms of story and character development, I became fully emerged in this novella which transported me back to another time when social standing, duty to country and family obligations were of the upmost importance. Being gay or even not marrying wasn’t an option.

We meet two young boys and watch as over a period of years they become best friends, then lovers, always separated by their preordained futures and country of birth. A surprising suspense factor came into play for me because I was always aware that WW1 was looming ahead, so as beautiful as it was watching Nathaniel and Konstantin fall in love it was also bittersweet because there couldn’t possibly be any future (even a clandestine one) between an heir to the British throne and his Russian counterpart.

Six year old Nathaniel and Konstantin meet each other for the first time in 1890’s England. I got the feeling that both boys were lonely, growing up in such wealth and standing and with so much expected of them when all they really wanted was to be children. Subsequently their connection is immediate, based on finding a kindred spirit.

Through Nathaniel’s eyes and over yearly summer visits and letters we see their friendship blossom into more, so that by the time they attend college together each is aware that those early kisses, fumblings and releases has developed into a serious love affair (although neither has a name for what they’re feeling or doing they just know that they long to be together) Eventually their carefree college days end, with family obligation and duty separating the men once more. They are now expected to marry and for me these were some of the most heartbreaking scenes. The anguish they each go through standing at the other’s wedding, imagining that the vows are for one another instead of their intended brides is heartbreaking.

“When it got to the part where Konstantin was saying his vows, Nathaniel concentrated on every word. It might sound foolish but he wanted to remember exactly what the words sounded like in Konstantin’s voice.”

With the progression of the 1st world war communication between our lovers cease, leaving Nathaniel trapped in England and assuming the worst. When he learns that the Russian royal family has been overthrown he’s devastated withdrawing from society and life in general, expecting to live out his days in seclusion. The ending is kind of abrupt but I have to say it was also perfect, leaving me with a big silly smile on my face. Cheers.

Do svidanyia Nate.”
“Do svidanyia Kosya. Until we meet again.” Konstantin bit his lip and then turned away and walked onto the ship without looking back.”

5 Pants Off

Review: Snow On The Mountain by P.D Singer

Reviewed by Buggy
Snow on the Mountain (Mountain #2) by P.D Singer
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 210pgs
2.5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Champagne powder snow, gorgeously groomed slopes, and elegant hotels draw the expert and the wealthy to the exclusive Wapiti Creek Ski Resort, but for Jake Landon and Kurt Carlson, the lure is work. A novice skier, Jake's been assigned to run the bunny lift, but Kurt’s afraid he’ll be stuck shoveling snow all winter. Instructing at a private ski school should be his dream job, but it brings giggles and sideways glances among their new friends.

All summer, Jake and Kurt were alone in the wilderness. If Jake wanted to stay in the closet, it didn’t matter. Now they have to navigate a relationship in public, where the five-year-old twins who’ve adopted Jake as their ski buddy are as big a nuisance as the ski patroller who has a crush on him. Would-be friends, vicious coworkers, and the perils of the mountain could mean the end for Kurt and Jake, but their biggest danger comes from each other.

Second Edition
First edition published by Torquere Press (November 2009)

Review:
Opening Line: “The screams made me turn around to look uphill.”

We first met Jake and Kurt in the fantastic Fire On The Mountain where they worked as fire rangers for the summer season. Two men alone in the mountains cut off from civilization, completely reliant on each other and well, you can guess the rest. Of course both assume the other is straight at first and dance around the obvious signs they're each putting out until a life or death situation forces the truth to the surface. They want each other.

Snow On The Mountain picks up a few months later; Jake and Kurt are now working at the exclusive Wapiti ski resort and still very much in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. While everything is perfect behind the closed doors of their staff housing, navigating their relationship in public is proving to be a little more difficult.

Jake as a novice skier has been assigned to run the bunny lift, a job that suits him just fine. He’s making friends, improving his skills on the hill and was recently adopted by the boss’s five year old twins, who he seems to be babysitting down the green runs on a daily basis.

Kurt’s transition was more interesting to me as he struggles initially to find work, giving in to the fact that he might just be shovelling snow all winter when a plum job instructing at a
private ski school lands in his lap. In FOTM Kurt was the popular, self-confident, hero kinda guy. I mean he was good at everything he did and Jake worshipped him for it, so it was interesting here to see the roles reversed with Kurt struggling to find his footing while Jake adapted to their new life and friends so easily.

Thankfully in this book we get inside both of our heroes heads as Singer has provided us with an alternating POV albeit it goes from 1st to 3rd person but I still appreciated getting Kurt’s view.

So yeah the conflict; well Kurt’s job doesn’t turn out to be quite what it seems on paper and after he books his first client he finally figures out what all the sneers and sideways glances, have been about. It seems is new instructor job is just a front for an escort business. Of course all that pales when it comes to being held at gunpoint, crazed Bulgarians and surviving avalanches.

Ultimately though I have to say this book was a real struggle for me to get through. Which was disappointing because I’d loved the first book in the series so much and had been looking forward to Jake and Kurt’ s continuing story. I also spent 10 years living in Whistler so I was excited about the ski resort aspect, especially knowing how good PD Singer is at creating her locations. She doesn’t disappoint here, the ski conditions and terminology are perfect, and I felt like I was there at the resort or whooshing down the slopes with fresh powder in my face but sadly everything else just fell flat to me. The romance was meh and the bad guy was kinda over the top and hilarious without meaning to be.

2.5 Pants Off

Review: Book #1 Fire On The Mountain 

Double Review: Dex In Blue by Amy Lane

Reviewed by Hannah
Dex In Blue (Johnnies #2) by Amy Lane
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 350pgs
5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Ten years ago David Worral had plans to go to college and the potential for a beautiful future in front of him. One tragic accident later, he fled to California and reinvented himself as Dex, top porn model of Johnnies.

Dex’s life is a tangled mess now, but the guys he works with only see the man who makes them believe even porn stars can lead normal lives. When Kane, one of Dex’s coworkers, gets kicked out of his house, the least Dex can do is give him a place to stay. Kane may be a hyperactive muscle-bound psycho, but he’s also a really nice guy. What could be the harm?

Except nothing is simple—not sex, not love, and not the goofy kid with the big dick and bigger heart who moves his life into Dex’s guest room. When they start negotiating fractured pasts and broken friends, Dex wonders if Kane’s honest nature can untangle the sadness that stalled his once-promising future. With Kane by his side, Dex just might be able to reclaim the boy he once was—and if he can do that, he can give Kane the home and the family he deserves.

Review:
Wow. Just wow. This book is fantastic. Be prepared to completely fall in love with Dex and Kane.

I got 3% into this book and Amy Lane had managed to send me from ‘Holy crap this book is hot’ to ‘oh my god, this is so heartbreaking’ with tears streaming down my face, 3% in! I don’t know where that kind of talent to write comes from, but I’m sure glad people like Amy choose to share such talent with the world.

Dex and Kane *sigh* prepare to fall hard. These two characters practically come off the page. There is nothing better from a book, than when you are so immersed in it, it is like the characters are flesh and bone, you somehow become part of their lives, and they are right there on your sofa (insert correct word here for different nationalities, what, couch?) next to you.

I didn’t want to let these two go. Their was such tenderness to their relationship that the reader falls head over heels for them, and you just want to keep reading, to keep being by their side as life showers them with the happiness they deserve.

This book isn’t an easy ride. Dex and Kane have to battle through some personal issues and emotions, that impact their ability to be there for each other, each with their own insecurities, but what the reader realises before they do, is that really, what they both need is to let someone take care of them, and eventually they open up to that idea.

It is the most heart wrenching parts of this book, Dex’s confrontation with his family for example, or Kane trying to fix his sisters life, that you see THEIR life, Dex and Kane’s, at its best, how they manage to envelop the other with love and support that will leave you a gooey puddle as you feel privileged for getting to be front row for such a love story.

Kane is considered a ‘simple’ person, whilst Dex likes to plan, and deconstruct situations; however that would be far too simple a way to look at these characters. Although it is Kane’s simple way of dealing with life that makes him someone so approachable to the reader, he has insecurities that open him up to be more than just the easy going guy in this relationship, and he has wisdom beyond his years, and more insight than he would ever give himself credit for, when it comes to taking care of Dex’s heart.

Seriously, this book actually makes me want to whimper at how much I love these two characters. It carries over so much of what was sheer brilliance in ‘Chase in Shadows’. You get more than the love of a couple; you get to see a family. How this group of guys from ‘Johnnies’ makes sure that everyone is always taken care of, which makes this book even more heart-warming, as you find so much of the story and so many of the characters have grabbed your heart, away from just Dex and Kane.

Not many writers have the skill to make sure that you understand each character they are writing about, to explain to the reader why each character away from the main arc is worth caring about, but Amy Lane does, making her reads always that bit more special.

This book is easy to read, because through the pain, confrontations, and regrets there is always love, always hope, meaning the reader can always find a way to smile, and keep their heart light.

Read it, enjoy, and just bask in the love. Seriously, these guys will just make you swoon.

5 Pants Off

---

Reviewed by Buggy

Review:

Opening Line: “It was okay right?”

I absolutely adored Chase In Shadow, so how happy was I that Amy Lanes latest book Dex In Blue brought us back into that same world. Yup we re-enter “Johnnies” gay-for-pay porn with David ”Dex” Worral, who makes this book a true companion piece by going through parts of Chase’s heartbreaking story all over again from his own POV. Thankfully Dex’s story isn’t as emotionally exhausting or angst filled as Chase’s, I mean it has its moments (this is Amy Lane after all) but I didn’t feel like I’d been hit by a truck and needed therapy after this one -and I mean that in the most fan-girly way:) I also already knew the large cast of characters going in so I didn’t have to struggle sorting out their dual names again. And Dex, well I kinda loved him plus there’s his boyfriend Kane and he’s such a laid-back, unassuming sweetheart that you can’t help but smile at his view of the world. There are also some really funny bits…

“Could you come and help me edit this last frickin’ video. You’ve fucked girl’s right? You know what a pussy is supposed to look like? Dex winced “Yeah sort of.” “Excellent. I need someone who can tell me if this shit looks hot or just weird.”

David Worral’s life has just been shattered; his best friend, love of his life and first and only male lover has just been taken from him in a tragic accident, destroying his once limitless future and compelling David to flee Montana and its memories. Reinventing himself in California starts out innocently enough, when his parents can no longer afford his college education, and on the suggestion of a girlfriend he arrives at Johnnies, a gay-for-pay porn company. David wasn’t gay but his alter ego “Dex” sure as hell was and Dex was going to make him very wealthy.

8 years later and David/Dex is essentially running Johnnies, spending as much time behind the camera now as in front of it. He’s the go-to guy, the fix it guy, the guy with the plan especially when the owner has a nose full of blow. Dex has finally admitted to himself that he’s gay after having his heart broken by another Johnnies model and is lonely. He needs a friend, someone else in his beautiful empty house and that’s how he finds Kane.

Carlos “Kane” is young, hung, gorgeous, living in the moment and needing a place to crash. He also likes sex, I mean that’s how he ended up doing porn (might as well get paid for it right) who cares if it’s with a man if it feels good. Kane is also a nice guy to a fault, paying for his nieces hospital bills with what his sister dubs his “dirty” porn money and even giving her his apartment so she can avoid an abusive boyfriend. (I really wanted to slap the sister)

“Dex laughed a little. “Aren’t you supposed to be straight? He asked, but his body relaxed into Kane’s, and that made Kane happy. “I am straight”, Kane mumbled. “Except when I’m fucking guys, “I’m plenty straight. Now shut up and sleep. And don’t feel bad. That was amazing.”

So Kane and Dex are playing house, sleeping in the same bed while Kane’s pets take the spare bedroom. I mean they’ve done it at work so they might as well take comfort in each other here too. What starts out as friends with benefits quickly changes into something else though and it’s interesting how Lane manages to make the sex scenes in front of the camera so different from the ones behind closed doors. She also creates a real sense of family within the Johnnies staff and all the obstacles that life throws at them. The HEA here is awesome although if I’m honest a little far-fetched. I mean as nice as it was and as much as I wanted “that” to happen there’s just no way the powers that be would let it.

“God made me gay. Dex made me realize it wasn’t a bad thing” *sigh*

Cheers

4.5 Pants Off

Review: Book #1 Chase in Shadow

Review: Mourning Heaven by Amy Lane

Reviewed by Buggy
Mourning Heaven by Amy Lane
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 200pgs
3.5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Heroes fall.

Peter first came to the tiny backwater of Daisy, California, as a child, and he was sure of one thing: his cousin Michael would take care of him. When Michael started a friendship with the fragile, haunted Bodi Kovacs, Peter's consolation in losing any claim to Bodi was that Michael would care for him too. But tragedy struck, and Michael ripped himself out of their world and threw away the people who loved him most.

Six years later, Michael is coming home in a box. All it took to destroy a hero was a town full of bigotry and hatred. Reclaiming him will take strength of heart that neither Peter nor Bodi had six years ago. Since Michael left, Bodi has been lost and alone. Peter can try to make Bodi his and take the role Michael should have had, but first he and Bodi have to confront the past. They will need to face Michael, the good and the bad, the beauty and the sadness, and see his memory truly for what it was and not what it could have been. It's a simple act that may destroy them both: sifting through the flaming ruins of heaven is a sure way to annihilate a bleeding mortal heart.

Review:
Opening Line:” Daisy, California Population 2,726

As much as I love Amy Lane I have to admit this one was a struggle for me to get through. Don’t get me wrong the writing is still fantastic and there are passages that literally take your breath away but the story is also so painful, so angry, so freaking desperate and depressing that it just became more then I could take. I wasn’t even convinced of the love story taking place here, it seemed a little frantic, a little violent, a little for the moment.

You’d think with a title like “Mourning Heaven” I would have been prepared though, especially after already having my heart shredded (in a good way) by several of Lane’s other books. I was expecting angst and pain here but I was also expecting awesomeness or at least something redeeming or hopeful to cling to throughout this sad story. But with every page angst-riddled and every character broken, tormented and grief stricken this was ultimately just exhausting.

“Oh shit he was disintegrating, dissolving, coming apart again and Peter needed to be there for once, someone needed to be there to catch Bodi as he fell. Peter was up and wrapping his arms around Bodi before one more painful word happened and Bodi was crying like he hadn’t cried when --- (spoiler) and Peter was crying with him because this was Michael Bodi was crying about and Michael had hurt and Michael had broken and he hadn’t let them fix him and now he would never be fixed and they’d always be a little bit broken in their souls where he’d left a Michael shaped hole.”

Peter moved to the small prejudiced town of Daisy at the age of 12. He’d moved around a lot in his short life and while his mother loved him she was just never able to provide for him eventually depositing him with his Aunt Aileen and her son Michael. It wasn’t all bad though because there was Michael. For Peter his cousin is the sun and the moon, he is everything good and strong and protective and right in the world. Just to hear him breathing through the thin bedroom walls at night makes him feel like everything is going to be okay. And then there’s Michael’s friend Bodi, the boy that Peter loves from the moment he sets eyes on him. Of course it’s not easy being gay in a town like Daisy the church is …well very vocal in its views on that sort of evil behavior and everyone in this backwards town goes to church so it’s not a place you want to be out.

“He’d told his mother that he thought boys were more beautiful than girls, and she’d told him that he would have to be either brave or quiet about that, especially in Daisy.”

The meat of this story however takes place years later; Peter is now 23 and the only one still living in Daisy. Michael his hero, his everything who he hasn’t seen in 6 years is finally coming home and Peter now has the task of finding Bodi and bringing him back too because Michael is coming home in a casket. Slowly we the readers learn what happened 6 years ago that splintered the trio, sending Bodi off in the middle of the night into parts unknown and Michael to the nearest recruiting office where he enlisted in the service.

Together Bodi and Peter have to get through their grief and pay homage to Michael, restoring his motorcycle and giving him a proper send-off while trying to get through the hate, ignorance and prejudice that this town tends to feed on. Bodi is so broken that it will be a miracle if he survives even with Peter’s love and Peter; well he has to learn that even heroes aren’t perfect.

3.5 Pants Off

Review: The Island by Lisa Henry

Reviewed by Buggy
The Island by Lisa Henry
Loose-Id
Novel: 182pgs
4.5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Shaw is in Fiji to sell a stolen painting to the crime boss, Vornis. It will be the deal of a lifetime, if Shaw can pull it off. But then Vornis parades his latest toy around in front of him—a captured DEA agent whose time is running out. It’s none of Shaw’s business, and it doesn’t matter that under any other circumstances Lee would be exactly Shaw’s type: he’s young, he’s hot, and he might even have a personality if they hadn’t beaten it out of him. Too bad there’s no way Lee is getting off the island. Too bad there’s nothing Shaw can do for him. And too bad there are some lines that even Shaw won’t cross.

Keeping his hands off Lee proves harder than he thinks, but Shaw’s not stupid enough to fall for the tortured captive of a dangerous crime boss, is he? If he did, it wouldn’t be just his job he would be risking—it would be his life.

Publisher's Warning: Readers with a history of rape or sexual abuse may find elements of this story disturbing.

Review:
Opening Line: “Shaw looked out the window as the chopper came in to land.”

I was kind of unsure going into The Island (especially after the warning in the back blurb) I mean I don’t even read BDSM so I figured this was going to be way out of my comfort zone but luckily enough I took a gamble because this turned out to be a fantastic, well written and very moving story. Sure it’s intense, but it’s also thought provoking, suspenseful, romantic, (way) surprising and even tender. And oh did I mention it takes place on a Fijian island (hello virtual vacation -although I’d choose an island not inhabited by a twisted crime lord) Anyways. Yes there are situations here that are uncomfortable, disturbing and just plain painful to read but they take place off the page and are non-sexual, more like a prisoner of war situation then a kinky F’d up sex thing (if that makes sense?) So don’t be afraid of The Island especially if you like good romantic suspense, an Australian hero and a smile inducing HEA.

Entrepreneur Adam Shaw arrives on the private Fijian Island to sell a stolen and very expensive (albeit ugly) painting to the powerful crime boss known as Vornis. Vornis is one twisted pig in the truest sense of the word but he’s also an important stepping stone in Shaw’s murky world as he will introduce him to some important future business partners. Shaw is the middle man to the bad guys, finding them what they need for a fee; weapons, bombs, jewels, artwork nothing is out of his reach but he has a conscience too and it’s about to be tested.

On his first night on the lavish island Vornis introduces Shaw to his new “toy” a beautiful but destroyed young man. He is now only a shell of his obvious military background; beaten, drugged, brutalized, starving and for the most part living in some reclusive part of his own mind. Being the consummate host Vornis gives the boy to Shaw to play with for the duration of his stay. Shaw is not a monster though, he’s different from these people or so he keeps reminding himself.

Over the coming days Shaw does what he can not to hurt the boy any further while still appearing to be one of the monsters. Putting on a show for the cameras in his room and appearing unfazed when Vornis takes him back for a few hours to well, terrorize and beat the shit out of him. I mean he feels for Lee’ situation but really it’s none of his business and what could he do anyways? They’re trapped on the island, hounded by bodyguard soldiers with escape an impossibility. If Shaw shows any weakness at all towards the boy Vornis will kill them both. It’s a slippery slope and it’s so cleverly written watching Shaw work both sides.

For the majority of this story we remain in Shaw’s head, with only the occasional glimpse into the mind of the boy know as Lee. Again this is great writing because make no mistake this is also very much Lee’s story and when his head clears enough from the drugs and we’re allowed in let me tell you it’s a mess. His coping techniques, utter terror and flashbacks bothered me more than the abuse he was suffering. For Lee, Shaw is the first person since his capture to look him in the eye, to treat him like more than a dog and to give him hope that he might have a future. Hope can be a dangerous thing though.

There’s a huge plot twist that I didn’t see coming and can’t get into because it will give it all away but let me tell you it was awesome. I also loved that this story continues for several months into the future realistically dealing with “things” that needed to be dealt with before we get the big HEA but again its spoiler territory so I can’t say much more than that.

Totally recommended. Cheers

4.5 Pants Off

Review: Sidecar by Amy Lane

Reviewed by Buggy
Sidecar by Amy Lane
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 270pgs
5+ Pants Off and gone for good

Blurb:
The year is 1987. The boys wear pink Izod shirts, the girls wear big hair, everyone has a stash box, and AIDS is just an ugly rumor rumbling like a thunderstorm from the cities. A teenage runaway wanders the side of the road, a heartbeat away from despair, and is rescued by a long-haired angel on a Harley.

But that's just the beginning of their story.

Josiah Daniels wanted peace and quiet and a simple life, and he had it until he rescued Casey from hunger, cold, and exhaustion. Then Joe's life is anything but simple as he and his new charge navigate a world that is changing more rapidly than the people in it. Joe wants to raise Casey to a happy and productive adulthood, and he does. But even as an adult, Casey can't conceive of a happy life without Joe. The trouble is getting Joe to accept that the boy he nurtured is suddenly the man who wants him.

Their relationship can either die or change with the world around them. As they make a home, negotiate the new rules of growing up, and swerve around the pitfalls of modern life, Casey learns that adulthood is more than sex, Joe learns that there is no compromise in happy ever after, and they’re both forced to realize that the one thing a man shouldn’t be is alone.

Review:
Sidecar was one of those books that I couldn`t stop reading yet also wanted to put away and slowly savour because I just didn`t want it to end. I absolutely loved Casey and Joe and I`m fast approaching phonebook status with author Amy Lane, you know if she wrote a phone book I`d read it cover to cover, probably cry at the end then write a gushy fangirl review all about it. Everything she writes just grabs me by the guts, sometimes destroys me, always makes me sigh and smile and generally leaves me a hot tear streaked mess. Sidecar was no exception.

This amazing and rare story; encompassing twenty-five years of love and well, life. And because of the length of time we get to spend with our characters this also becomes more than just a story, this is a lifetime, this is every little heartache and hope and triumph. This is epic. Thanks for the ride Amy!

Ponytailed, Harley riding, bear of a man Joe Daniels is on his way home from his job as a pediatric nurse when he comes across a visibly distraught teenager on the side of the road. Joe has picked up his share of runaways over the years in this remote area, feeding them and giving them a safe place for a few days until they head out into the world again. He`s assuming this 16 year old will be the same but Casey is about to change everything.

At first Casey is wary of accepting the big hippie bikers offer, knowing some of the shit he`s had to do over the past few months just to get a meal. But he`s also reached the end of his endurance; he’s exhausted, dirty, hungry, lice riddled and reeling from the recent abuse of a trucker. He can either go back to the bridge he almost jumped off or he can go with Joe.

Casey’s story is not a revelation, on the run because his parents couldn’t accept him being gay; now all he needs is a break, just a place to make a start for himself. He`s found it with Joe and so much more. Joe doesn`t want anything from him (definitely not sex even though Casey offers) he just wants Casey to have a chance to grow up without judgement and become a good man. So Casey doesn`t leave, with Joe as his legal guardian he goes back to school, gets a job, helps remodel the house, they get a dog, he dates a few boys and life goes by.

At 27 Joe is pretty settled in his life, he works at the hospital, he likes his seclusion, he loves having Casey around and he dates a few girls and a few boys. Their relationship works, for several years it works but Casey is growing up and he`s never hidden the fact that he wants Joe. So far Joe’s been able to play it off, telling him he`s just a kid and doesn’t know what he wants and that’s where the conflict comes in because suddenly Casey isn`t a kid, suddenly, overnight (well 6 years) Casey is a man and Joe can no longer deny what s been growing between them. How it hurts now to see him with his silly boyfriends.

Gawd the moment Joe realizes that he`s in love with Casey, that he wants him is so perfect and so beautiful and so well written it makes you want to cry. I`ll be honest though I had my doubts as to whether Lane could pull off this transformation taking them from a pseudo father son relationship to lovers but I needn’t have worried and YES, Finally, the payoff for their first time together is so worth the long wait.

"I want you. I want to hold you. I’m suddenly, terrifyingly, overwhelmingly possessed with the idea of what your mouth would taste like under mine, and I don’t know how to say it or even think it.”

And still their story goes on. Joe wants a child, same sex adoption wasn`t really a thing in the nineties so that’s a problem, Joe also wants Casey to travel, to see the world and experience everything before he settles down. Casey just wants Joe and time marches on, in the blink of an eye 25 years has passed and that is life. Cheers.

SideNote- I want to mention that Amy has also included a song title for each chapter, relevant to when it takes place and what our characters are going through. And because this starts in 1986 –the year I graduated (!) I had an absolute blast with this playlist, bringing back lots of memories for me, back when I had super big hair and Corey Hart was the bomb.

5 Pants Off

Review: The Blue Paradise by Theo Fenraven

Reviewed by Buggy
The Blue Paradise by Theo Fenraven
Dreamspinner Press
Novella
4.5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Pro baseball player Devin Carter is set to break a home run record until a knee injury puts him on the bench. With nothing to do but wait for recovery, Devin impulsively treats himself and his dog to a vacation in the Florida Keys. He checks in at a family-run hotel called The Blue Paradise—and that’s where things get interesting.

Sparks fly when Devin meets Jim Dellwood, the resort owner's grandson, on the beach. Though Devin’s time in Islamorada is limited—and he's still in the closet to his teammates and the media—they decide to give the budding relationship a shot. Once he returns to Sarasota, Devin and Jim find ways to make their long-distance love affair work, but the team’s new outfielder has other plans for Devin. Can Devin make his way back to The Blue Paradise—and Jim?

Review:
Opening Line: “Devin Carter had five days off thanks to a torn knee ligament, and he needed to get away from everyone and everything he knew, so he threw some clothes and a couple books in a bag, loaded the dog in the car, and drove down the gulf coast of Florida to Naples, where he picked up the Tamiami Trail.” 

Wow, I totally got into this one, a real surprise as the story didn’t at all go where I was expecting it to and the love scenes were for the most part fade-to-black. Sure we get the usual hand jobs, blow jobs and make out sessions but except for a delicious “edging” scene (yup, learn something new every day in my M/M romances) our hero “makes love” and leaves the rest to our imaginations. Kinda refreshing.

Blue Paradise also gives us a creepy stalker plotline – which I didn’t see coming, and our hero is a professional baseball player. Yum! And wasn’t it fun going behind the scenes with him; locker rooms, agents, groupies etc. Giving me flashes of For Love Of The Game (without Kevin Costner) as he tries to break Barry Bonds homerun record on a failing knee. I should also mention the awesome Florida setting here; so well written that I could actually feel the humidity, smell the salt air and see the swaying palms. Total escapism and I loved it. This was a big hit for me and I’ll definitely be seeking out more from Theo Fenraven.

Professional baseball player Devin Carter is nursing a bad knee, benched by the team doctor he’s hoping a week’s rest in the Florida Keys will be just what his mind and body need to help him break the home run record when he returns for the remainder of the season. With no true direction in mind Devin just grabs his dog and hits the road, eventually checking into a non-descript hotel bungalow on the beach. It’s there at the Blue Paradise that Devin meets Jim, the grandson of the owner and the man he doesn’t know he’s been looking for.

Their affair is short lived but meaningful and when Devin returns to Sarasota they decide to keep it going over the phone. There isn’t any angst or unnecessary drama between Devin and Jim; it’s all very mature (that aspect has been saved up for Jorge.) Devin is still in the closet when it comes to the media and his teammates but otherwise quite secure in his sexuality so even though he’s never fooled around with a teammate before when the opportunity presents itself - and with Jim’s open minded blessing, he forges into unknown and potentially messy territory with the team’s new outfielder. And that’s when things get really interesting.

For a novella, I got way caught up in the stalker aspect of this story and the utter helplessness Devin feels as his life crumbles around him. He can’t even go to his coach or the police without coming out, however as the violence escalates he also runs out of options. The bad guy here is nothing new or special but he still managed to make me hate him while upping the suspense level. My only real complaint here would be Dev and Jim’s initial meeting which just felt a little too easy and convenient but hey what do I know about gay hook ups?

Lastly I have to give a shout out to Rusty the dog who manages to get quite a bit of realistic page time. So much so that when the stalker starts threatening him I actually said to myself (and the author) you better not hurt the dog or I’m gunna stop reading and when I start talking to my books I know it’s good. Cheers

4.5 Pants Off

Review: Fire On The Mountain by P.D Singer

Guest Review by Buggy
Fire On The Mountain  (Mountain #1) by P.D Singer
Dreamspinner Press
Novel
4.5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Take a break from academics, enjoy the Colorado Rockies, fight a fire now and then. That’s all Jake Landon expected when he signed up to be a ranger. He’ll partner with some crusty old mountain man; they’ll patrol the wilderness in a tanker, speak three words a day, and Old Crusty won’t be alluring at all. A national forest is big enough to be Jake’s closet—he’ll spend his free time fishing.

Except Old Crusty turns out to be Kurt Carlson: confident, competent, and experienced. He's also young, hot, friendly, and considers clothing optional when it’s just two guys in the wilderness. Sharing a small cabin with this walking temptation is stressing Jake’s sanity—is he sending signals, or just being Kurt? And how would Kurt react if he found out his new partner wants to start a fire of a different kind? Jake’s terrified—they have to live together for five months no matter what.

Enough sparks fly between the rangers to set the trees alight, but it takes a raging inferno to make Jake and Kurt admit to the heat between them.


Review:
Opening Line: “Fires would be part of my summer-I’d know that even before ever getting up to the mountains.”

This was a fantastic little find (thanks D) containing not only a very satisfying friends to lovers romance but complete escapism due to J.D Singer’s vivid descriptions of the Colorado park setting and obvious research she’s put into forest firefighting. Her descriptions are so accurate that at times I was shaking my head, is this author a fire ranger in her spare time? We also get some absolutely breathtaking action scenes so that by the end I could smell the smoke and wanted to wash the ash from my clothes. Oh yeah and then there’s the man love…

After a disastrous weekend college road trip sends our narrator Jake back into the closet, all he can think about is getting the hell away from everyone and everything until he can sort out his sexuality. A six month stint as a forest ranger in the mountains of Colorado sounds just about perfect; beautiful scenery, loads of exercise, lakes full of trout and a quiet, judgement free life in an isolated cabin away from it all. Sure he’ll have to contend with directing the odd tourist or scout group back to town, maybe even risk his life with a potential forest fire but hello adventure.

Arriving in the tiny town of Meeker Colorado Jake (for whatever reason) expects to be partnered up with a “crusty old mountain man” for his first fire season instead he gets “the” Kurt Carlson; experienced, popular, self-confident (because he’s good at everything) and gorgeous. Kurt is everything Jake wishes he could be and he’s immediately drawn to him in a hero worship sort of way. This is one friendship he can’t risk ruining though so for now he’ll just keep his emerging feelings and dirty thoughts to himself. We the readers on the other hand get pagefulls of lusty angst and masturbation (not that I’m complaining)

The two become fast friends, filling their time (and a good early portion of the story) with the day to day routines of forest ranging and dealing with potential fire hazards. Because Kurt already has a couple years under his belt he takes on the role of mentor, teaching this rookie all he’ll need to know about fighting fires and living in the bush. This is when Fire On The Mountain takes on a Brokeback Mountain sort of quality; it’s just two men cut off from civilization, living in their own little world, completely reliant on each other. Of course both assume the other is straight, dancing around the obvious signs they’re each putting out until a life or death situation forces the truth to the surface. They want each other.

Their first time together is…. oh yeah, finally! And then *big sigh* as a subsequent forced separation tugs at your heart. Jake unable to sleep unless he gets into Kurt’s sleeping bag; remembering the missed opportunities, overanalyzing the relationship. His anticipation and even fear of seeing that person again was so relatable. Will he still feel the same? Or was it a onetime thing? “I wanted to believe that night was more than the product of fear and impending death. I didn’t want to be the last novelty before oblivion”.

This was a well written, engrossing story and I can’t wait to see where this series goes from here. I should mention that Singer has also included the short story INTO THE MOUNTAINS, which takes place two years prior and is told from Kurt’s POV. It’s an excellent addition to the story as a whole, tying the two together and giving us a look into Kurt’s somewhat obscure character (due to the Jake’s 1st person POV) It was nice to finally get a look into his head and learn why he had some of the fears he did, It also arcs us back to how he first became a Ranger. If you’re at all scared of heights though, look out, this is one exhilarating story. Damn is P.D Singer a rock climber too? Cheers.

4 1/2 Pants Off

Review: Chase In Shadow by Amy Lane

Guest Review by Buggy
Chase in Shadow ( Johnnies #1) by Amy Lane
Dreamspinner Press

Novel: 320pgs

Rating: 5/5

Blurb:
Chase Summers: Golden boy. Beautiful girlfriend, good friends, and a promising future.

Nobody knows the real Chase.

Chase Summers has a razor blade to his wrist and the smell of his lover’s goodbye clinging to his skin. He has a door in his heart so frightening he’d rather die than open it, and the lies he’s used to block it shut are thinning with every forbidden touch. Chase has spent his entire life unraveling, and his decision to set his sexuality free in secret has only torn his mind apart faster.

Chase has one chance for true love and salvation. He may have met Tommy Halloran in the world of gay-for-pay—where the number of lovers doesn’t matter as long as the come-shot’s good—but if he wants the healing that Tommy’s love has to offer, he’ll need the courage to leave the shadows for the sunlight. That may be too much to ask from a man who’s spent his entire life hiding his true self. Chase knows all too well that the only things thriving in a heart’s darkness are the bitter personal demons that love to watch us bleed.

Review:
Wow, what an intensely emotional, draining, yet ultimately amazing read. My first from author Amy Lane but not my last for sure, however it may take a while before I’m up to facing this sort of angst again. Yeah Chase In Shadow is heartbreaking and beautiful and damaged and gorgeous and just such a freaking hot mess, I won’t be forgetting him for a long time to come.

As much as I came to love this story I should tell you though that I had a hell of a time getting into it, and quite honestly almost gave up more than once. My initial problem was sorting out the huge cast of characters, most of whom had two names (which wasn’t explained right away) Chase is also Chance, his love interest is Tommy or Tango then we have childhood friends, porn industry friends, directors, fiancées, it took me ages to figure who was who. Compile that with a very unique style of writing that jumps from past to present with real events, dreamed events, desired events and directors cut type filmed events. The dialogue also takes some getting used to because in almost every circumstance Chase includes a “wished” internal response to what he actually says.
 

“Is there something wrong?" Donnie asked, like he was afraid of the answer.

I fell in love with a guy I met on a gay-for-pay porn set, and he cheated on me when we weren’t really a couple, because I had to leave him for my girlfriend
 

“Mercy had my dad over last night. It…it didn’t go real fuckin’ well.”

At some point though everything just clicked for me and fell in love with both the story and the uniqueness of the writing. Add to that one of the most emotionally damaged, frustrating, contradictory characters I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, a heartbreaking romance including love scenes that defy a hotness category and well, Amy Lane‘s got herself a new fan-girl.

Chase “Chance” Summers has it all….from the outside He’s young, popular, good looking and athletic with a beautiful fiancée and supportive friends. Which is just how he planned it. In between studying for his engineering degree, playing baseball and saving for a house Chase has also managed to hide an abusive, messed up childhood behind the red door (in his mind) -which, throughout the course of the book slowly gets opened. His farce of a life seems to going along just fine until he adds one more lie to his already toppling house of cards. Telling himself that it’s for the money and that he’s straight, I mean he’s got a fiancée right? Chase decides to try out the gay porn industry.

Entering “Johnnies” is a revelation because for the first time in his life Chase “Chance” feels free. In fact when he’s with another man he’s flying, but the house of cards is starting to sway. Keeping his alternate life from his girlfriend is almost too easy, which of course just makes him feel like a dick but then again he can hardly contain himself once he starts thinking about who and what he’s going to be doing during the next shoot.

Enter Tommy “Tango” Hallaron, fellow porn actor and the one Chase has been inadvertently waiting for his entire life. They fall fast and hard and Chase’s life trisects, and the house of cards shakes a bit more. His abusive father, his mother’s suicide, his porn life, his straight friends, the fact that he’s really gay, the cheating on both Mercy and Tommy. Secrets upon secrets upon secrets, something’s got to give. Throughout the utter chaos of Chase’s perfect life he hates what he’s doing to those he loves but can’t stop, can’t change and he hates himself more and the house of cards falls and the red door opens.

As you’ve assumed this story goes to some very dark places, I mean on page one he’s attempting suicide so you know you’re in for a roller coaster ride. But I never really expected the level of grief, torment and self abuse that we get to see here. Towards the end there’s a huge surprise (that I didn’t see coming) and it helps in what (Thank God) is a well, well earned HEA.
Cheers

5 Pants Off

Review: Packing Heat by Kele Moon

Guest Review by Buggy
Packing Heat by Kele Moon
Loose-Id

Short Novella: 92pgs

Rating: 4/5

Blurb:
Dark and brooding firefighter Brad Archer has spent months denying his attraction to his roommate, Police Officer Gavin Connolly. Gavin is just the kind of guy he likes, tall, tough and buff enough to actually handle Brad’s big size and rough nature.

To hide his real feelings Brad holds the handsome, seemingly straight cop at arms length until a shooting at work leaves Gavin a little too vulnerable to ignore. What starts out as a simple attempt to comfort his roommate blows up into something wild, sexual and wholly unexpected when Gavin wants more from Brad than a strong, firefighter’s shoulder to lean.

The sexual magnetism drawing the two of them together forces secrets to be revealed and though the sex is mind-blowing it may not be worth weathering the storms their relationship could stir up. In order to protect him Brad realizes he loves Gavin enough to let him go. The problem is—The stubborn cop may not let him.

Review:
Well this was a fine little erotic romance. My first Kele Moon story but definitely not my last, there’s just so much to like here. Well written with memorable characters, smoking hot love scenes, just the right amount of dirty talk to make it interesting and for a novella enough plot and back story to hold it together and really give you a feel for the characters other then just who likes to bottom. I also tend to like my M/M with manly men and Packing Heat gave me that and how, with two very alpha, very masculine, very sexy men in uniform.

Actually for such a smut filled short story I was surprised by the depth of character we got. Brad’s horrific outing as a teenager, fear of commitment and unique sexual hang-ups were definitely a bonus and Gavin’s admission of “The older he got the more he leaned toward the gay side of bisexual” just made me realize that dating is fucking confusing no matter what your orientation.

Police officer Gavin Connolly is shitfaced. A recent shooting at work has left him with some unexpected leave and now he’s got too much time to think. Too much time to worry about the kid he shot and way too much time to ponder how sexy he finds his roommate. Yeah Brad, his openly gay, gorgeous, firefighter roommate. He’s had a thing for Brad for years. I mean its why he moved in with him in the first place except Brad has never shown the slightest bit of interest. Tonight’s going to be different though, Gavin’s had just the right amount of too much too drink and is also just stressed enough that he’s stopped caring about the consequences. Tonight he’s going to act on the sexual tension that’s been building for months. Sure he may get rejected but he might also get what he’s been dreaming about too.
 
Brad Archer can’t believe that his seemingly straight roommate has just launched himself onto his lips and into his lap. Now he remembers why he keeps his distance from Gavin the guys too fucking handsome for his own good. But his patience only goes so far and months of watching Gavin strut around in a towel have taken him too the limit, if that’s how Gavin wants to play so be it.
 

"You want it from a man? You’re gonna get it the way I like it. Let go of your dick or go find yourself a girlfriend.”

  Yeah this is one hot and naughty little read. There isn’t time for any real story development instead we focus more on what happens after the roomies take their relationship to the next level. Gavin just assumes there’s a future for them and is more then willing to come out. Brad on the other hand has some series issues from his past to deal with and only sees this as a fling especially since Brad is Bi. My favourite scene would have to be when Gavin handcuffs Brad to the bed and forces him to give up control and trust him. It’s kinda heartbreaking actually but also sexy as hell.
　
The I love you’s are fast in coming but still plausible and the epilogue; getting to see their HEA at work in the future was just the icing on the cake. Cheers. 

4 Pants Off