Review: Point of Contact by Melanie Hansen

Point of Contact by Melanie Hansen
Carina Press, Goodreads, Amazon
Novel: 451pgs

4.5 Pants Off

Blurb:  Only love can heal an impossibly broken heart

There’d forever been a thread running through Trevor Estes’s life—his son, Riley, strong and constant like a heartbeat. But when Riley is killed in combat, everything in Trevor’s life unravels into a mess he doesn’t know how to mourn.

Then Jesse Byrne, Riley’s friend and platoon mate, arrives on Trevor’s doorstep with a box of Riley’s things. Jesse’s all-too-familiar grief provides an unlikely source of comfort for Trevor: knowing he’s not alone is exactly what he needs.

Trevor never imagined he’d find someone who fills his heart with hope again. As the pair celebrate Riley’s memory, their unique bond deepens into something irreplaceable—and something neither man can live without.

But diving into a relationship can’t be so simple. Being together means Trevor risking the last link he has to his son…leaving Jesse to wonder if he’ll ever be enough, or if Trevor will always be haunted by the past.

 Review

Note to Self: The next time you see your GR friends saying how a book made them bawl and breakdown please effing take it at face value and realize that they were actually bawling their eyes out and not playing around.  

This book broke my heart, broke it again, and then broke it one more time while putting it a tiny bit together. Melanie Hansen didn’t come to play with us when it comes to Point of Contact, she really didn’t come to play. 

Trevor Estes is scared, he’s very scared. He’s dealing with the fear of a parent whose only child is in the army and he’s about to do his first deployment. His fear is bone deep and he wants to stop Riley from leaving but when your children grow up they make their own decisions, and sometimes you can’t protect them. So, Trevor will support his baby and send him of with a smile and wave but with a prayer in his heart for his boy to comeback to him, for his boy to comeback to him safe. 

A going away party for Riley and his young friends is the last thing Trevor can give these boys because they are going to fight a war that will make them men far sooner than need be. A hostile run in with Jesse one of Riley’s friends almost brings the party mood to a standstill but there is far bigger things to worry about. Trevor will have to say goodbye to his little boy, the baby he had way too young and a time when it was them against the world. 

The story then gives you glimpses of father and son time apart. Riley’s time in the army and also counting down to D-day (death day). The fact that its coming is there from the beginning. It the author does a thing where you get to know Riley, you get to see him as a son and as a friend and he’s not just the man you’ll know will die. This is also his story and when the moment happens you realize you were never prepared and it will wreck you. I can’t remember the last time I cried for a book like this (well not since Protection by S.A Reid).  

We then move into the after where his dad Trevor and his best-friend Jesse have to learn to live without him. Trevor’s grief is crippling and every word of every chapter made me super weepy. As a mother (or as someone who just loves a person) I can only imagine and also as a mother your mind goes to places that is sobering and running amuck with fear. It was sometimes too much. 

The love story is a slow progress and it never implies that it’s a way to heal. Yes, two men suffering from grief come together to get through it but feelings went and snuck in. They celebrate the life of a loved one and embraces a love so fresh and new. 

Trevor through out the entire book made me sad his love for his son was very real, their connection was beautiful and I just enjoyed reading about their relationship. Jesse, while his first impression was a bad one, you get to know him and eventually fall in love with the man he is and the man that war has shaped. While falling in love with your deceased friends father might not be what he had expected but it was everything he needed. Together they walk the steps to healing and yet Riley remains an intricate part of their relationship.

Seriously, this book had me wrecked and at the time I was upset with myself for reading it because it made me so sad but I’m happy I did read it because it was a beautiful well written story. Point of Contact has filled my quota for emotional reads for the rest of the year, I can’t be out here in the streets with red eyes and runny nose.  

I am irrecoverably wrecked and I will be thinking about this one for a long time. 

Review: The Art of Breathing by TJ Klune

Reviewed by Whuppsy
The Art of Breathing (Bear, Otter, and Kid #3) by TJ Klune
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 350 pgs
5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Tyson Thompson graduated high school at sixteen and left the town of Seafare, Oregon, bound for what he assumed would be bigger and better things. He soon found out the real world has teeth, and he returns to the coast with four years of failure, addiction, and a diagnosis of panic disorder trailing behind him. His brother, Bear, and his brother's husband, Otter, believe coming home is exactly what Tyson needs to find himself again. Surrounded by family in the Green Monstrosity, Tyson attempts to put the pieces of his broken life back together.

But shortly after he arrives home, Tyson comes face to face with inevitability in the form of his childhood friend and first love, Dominic Miller, who he hasn't seen since the day he left Seafare. As their paths cross, old wounds reopen, new secrets are revealed, and Tyson discovers there is more to his own story than he was told all those years ago.

In a sea of familiar faces, new friends, and the memories of a mother's devastating choice, Tyson will learn that in order to have any hope for a future, he must fight the ghosts of his past.

Review:
So, I’m such a fan of Tj’s books.  He can make you feel so much with his words.  He draws you in his stories and you fall into them and you can’t get out until the very end.  Even then, it’s never fully over for you, trust me. When I heard that the Kid’s story was coming out, I KNEW I had to read this book.  I knew that I was going to cry because I cry in ALL of his books.  Especially his Bear, Otter and the Kid Chronicles.  So, are you ready?  Well, let’s get into itThis is the Kid’s (Ty’s) story. It’s a story BOATK fan has been waiting for.  But, I really don’t think that we were expecting the level of gut-wrenching that we got. But, I will say that it was worth it and Tj stayed in the realm that he has created so well.

Ty’s life isn’t going as well as he thought it would. He’s coming back to Seafare after being put on academic probation because of the problems that he’s faced over the last couple of years.  Ty was diagnosed with Panic Disorder and those attacks take so much from him. He got addicted to drugs and had to battle his way back.  Ty has so much fear in his life that he just can’t see a way out.  But he’s trying to get his life in order.  I love the resilience that Ty shows in trying to figure out his life. 

Ty has been in love with Dominic since he was young.  He at first though it was just friendship, but it wasn’t until he got older that he realized that it was love.  Dom has always been just his.  Dom helped to keep things from being too scary.  He was Ty’s heart and that kept him beating along. 

Ty says it perfectly:” Bear may be my rock, but Dom is the force that moves me.”

 Their way to happiness isn’t going to easy, but this is Tj Klune, so we know that there will be bumps and bruises along the way.  It was a slow build to their HEA.  Tj is known for making his characters deal with the issues that plague them.  Ty had so much to work on.  Dealing with the abandonment of his mother when he was five.  Dealing with the fractured relationship that he has with Dom.  Trying to deal with his own feelings of insecurities.  

Ty’s voice was so different from Bear’s voice.  Ty is neurotic thoughts are the same and yet so different from Bear’s. Ty is a vegetarian, hippish, ecoterrorist that will make your heart hurt and yet, you just want the very best for him.  Ty is dealing with so much and yet, his love for his family, the family that has been created during our tenure of BOATK’s chronicles is unmatched.  I love to see how he deals with all of the crazy that is his family.  The love that they all share is beyond beautiful to see.

Dom is Ty’s other half.  Dom realized that Ty was his as well.  Even though he’s so much older than Ty and he wants him to stay, he lets Ty go.  To allow Ty to realize his dreams.  It’s wonderful to see Dom again and he’s such a wonderful man.  I always liked Dom.  He was so strong and silent and yet, he’s always shown such consideration for Ty.  How gentle and kind he was with Ty.  I just fell for this guy.  He’s all that and so much more in this story.  So much more.  I fell more in love with his character in this book.

The secondary characters in this book, WOW!!  I loved them so much!!  Creed, Anna and JJ, their son had me in stitches!!  Creed is ALWAYS great for a laugh.  He’s still the same after so many years.  I love that about him.  Corey/Kori, I truly loved this character.  I learned about bigenderism and it was something that is so real and really needs to be explored more. Sandy, Paul, Vince and Darren made appearances in this story and can I just say…I WANT WAY MORE OF THEM!!  I can’t wait for Sandy and Darren’s story!!  Vince was his truly adorkable self and I still just wanted to kiss his cheek and listen to his sweetness. Paul…what can you say about Paul?  Paul just had me rolling. I was laughing out loud

reading him.  If you’ve not read Tell Me It’s Real, you’re missing so much and you must RUN to read that book.  You’ll totally laugh and cry your way through that book. Otter, is still the protective Father/Brother for Ty.  He’s Bear’s other half.  His sane half.  I love that Otter is still the rock that he’s always been.  Bear…I’ve saved Bear for last.  I love his protectiveness.  His love for Ty is unparalleled. To see Bear and watch him Freak Out is quite possibly the best part of these books.  Bear is just a hoot to read about.  You’ll enjoy his crazy as much as ever, possibly even more.  I know that I did. 

I have to say that this book spanned more years than the previous books, but the way Tj did it and the reason why..it was perfect.  This book was perfect.  There were times when I thought my heart would fall out of my chest with the sadness and sorrow that I felt.  Yet, there was times that I laughed out loud and snorted.  Tj has ALWAYS given you wonderful books that draw you in and you go on the journey with the characters.  He hasn’t lost that touch in the least.  In fact, he keeps getting better with every book that he does.  He did with this book.  Know that you are about to go on Ty’s journey with him and feel everything that he does. You will cheer his triumphs and hurt for him in his sadness. 

So, sit down and grab some tissues and be prepared to go on an emotional ride and never want to get off.  

5 Pants Off

 

Review: Slide by Garrett Leigh

Reviewed by SinChan
Slide (Roads #1) by Garrett Leigh
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 274pgs
4 Pants Off

Blurb:
Don’t look back. Don’t you ever look back… 

Shy tattoo artist Ash has a troubled past. Years of neglect, drug abuse, and life on the streets have taken their toll, and sometimes it seems the deep, unspoken bond with his lover is the only balm for wounds he doesn’t quite understand. 

Chicago paramedic Pete is warmth, love, and strength—things Ash never knew he could have, and never even knew he wanted until Pete showed him. But fate is a cruel, cruel mistress, and when nightmares collide with the present, their tentatively built world comes crashing down. 

Traumatic events in Pete’s work life distance him from home, and he doesn’t realize until it’s too late that Ash has slipped away. Betrayal, secrets, and lies unfold, and when a devastating coincidence takes hold, Pete must fight with all he has to save the love of his life.

Review
This is a really emotional story that leaves me thinking about the MCs beyond the story ending and leaves a slow burning feeling in my heart. This book definitely has a lot of emotional impact.

Part one of the story focuses on how Pete and Ash interacts and forms a romantic relationship. Part two of the book gets into their relationship on a deeper level and shows how Pete and Ash's relationship will last in the face of Pete's unreasonable working schedule, crazy murders in the city that is somehow too connected to them, and Ash's sudden withdrawn personality and emotional depression.

By the end of the book, I really like both characters and I care about how their relationship will work out and if they'll get their happiness in life or not. The first part of the story is more lighthearted. Ash is shy, a little antisocial, and completely out of his comfort zone living in a house when he spent years living on the streets and selling art to survive. He's a total opposite of Pete, but Pete manages to worm his way into Ash's heart and form an emotional connection. They started out as roommates but eventually become lovers. Their journey is sweet but not without trials. Ash is going through the trials of becoming a tattooist and Pete has insane working hours as a paramedic. Their relationship doesn't feel forced and somehow, their personalities are perfect for each other and they just clicked.

The second part of the book is darker and disturbing because the feelings of danger and the instinctual response of flight or fight is evoked in the MCs and in the readers. I am afraid for these characters because of the odd murders in the city and all the victims look like Ash. Combined with Ash's sudden change in attitude, I think he knows more than what he reveals to Pete. However, in the end, I find out that it's all in Ash's head. The danger is real and the killing definitely happened but as the reader, I almost feel cheated on because no actual danger came to Ash or Pete despite all the anxiety and worrying about them. The negative consequences of the events impact the mind more than the physical body and that is the bigger implication that stayed with me beyond the ending of the book.

Overall, I really enjoy reading this book. This is a very emotional read, but it's also not an emotional roller coaster read. The feelings just continue to buildup until the very end with a shocking revelation that answers all the questions about Ash's sudden change in personality and the murders. I love Ash and Pete's romance but it's the emotional impact of their story that will stay with me.

4 Pants Off

Review: Island House by Bru Baker

Reviewed by Fehu
Island House by Bru Baker
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 200pgs
4 Pants Off

Blurb:
Unable to move on after the death of his lover, British expat Niall Ahern clings to Nolan's dream of living in the Caribbean by moving to Tortola. Once there, he finds that not even the beauty of the island can fill the hole in his heart. Broke and spent in nearly every way imaginable, Niall wants out of the lonely, miserable, guilt-ridden life he's carved out for himself.

When Ethan Bettencourt, a wealthy tech guru, shows up in British Virgin Islands looking to purchase a second home, he gives Niall hope that he can move on. Both men fall hard and fast, but Niall finds piloting his yacht in the midst of a hurricane is nothing compared to weathering life's simple misunderstandings. As their troubles come between them, Niall is left to wonder if he and Ethan are over before they've begun.

Review
A great story, the cover is a bit misleading, since all is not well and the sunny beach hides secrets and hurts. This is a well written story about finding ones way again after overcoming grief and second chances at love and life. Very fitting for the season if you get tired of all the fluff and sweetness!

Niall lost his partner and his best friend before their life together could really begin. Now he is living on an island in the dream house of his dead lover and tries to live the live they had planned before his lovers’ sudden death. After sinking all of his savings into this new life and buying the boat his partner always wanted. Niall found out the hard ways that the fishing business was not something he could be successful in and so he fell back on what he knew - selling houses. A tropical island is quite the popular area to buy property and sell property and if Ethan wants to stay in the business, he has to impress Ethan Bettencourt, an internet mogul, who wants to buy a house and approached Niall's firm. A storm helped bring them together and Niall thought about trying something new, but Ethan left before anything could truly happened between them and didn't return to the island. Now Niall has a choice of letting the man go or find out if the spark he felt could be more.

Even after more than 3 years after the death of his partner Niall is still not over the loss and grieves for all the dreams that they lost. It was easy to feel empathy for him and so get into the story and follow him through the book. I liked Niall and he was an easy character to like, Ethan was a bit more complicated, what with his short fuse of a temper.

Ethan and Niall had an instant attraction, but I loved how the author didn't let them give in to it! No, this did not turned out to be a story about a stormy and hot romance on an island, which made me very happy. I love a story that has layers and this one had them, the character had secrets, their past was shown in a different light and it felt a bit like unwrapping candy, with a delicious offering at the end.

4 Pants Off

Review: The Boys of Summer by Sarah Madison

The Boys of Summer by Sarah Madison
Self-Published
Novel: 193pgs
4 Pants Off

Blurb:
Working for a California-based film production company, David McIntyre is the go-to man for matching the right location to the right project for the right price. On an extended trip to Hawaii, he hires Sutton’s Air Service to cart him all around to some of the most exotic locations in the South Pacific. During one of those trips, a freak tropical storm forces them to make a crash landing, leaving both men stranded without a radio and with very little in the way of food and water. Rick Sutton’s injuries make it imperative that they be rescued soon, and David finds himself calling on all his professional skills to keep both of them alive.

It takes a vivid dream about WW2 however, to make David realize that he has real feelings for Rick—more than just his natural concern that both of them get out of this mess alive. But putting his heart on the line might be the greatest risk David has ever taken—does he have the courage to make it before time runs out on both of them? 

Review
The Boys of Summer offers up a great mix of history intertwined with that of the present for David and Sutton. I was pulled in from the get go and got lost in these characters story and the setting.

David is good at his job for finding the right location to film for production companies. When he has his camera in hand he just knows what works and what won't do, plus there is a lot of traveling to be had visiting the most beautiful of places. This time he's in Hawaii and needs an aircraft service to get aerial views. With the service comes Rick Sutton, a man David has a slight crush on but appreciated his skill with the plane and pointing out prime location. Against Sutton suggestion of calling it quits, they end up in a storm and David is regretting not listening to Sutton. The storm is bad and from where their sitting it looks like the plane will go down. Good thing Rick is a fantastic pilot and they crash land and both men are intact, well...Rick is sorta intact.

With barely any food and with Rick badly injured their abandoned island isn't exactly paradise. But they've got to survive and wait out for help no matter how dire the situation seems. The men come across and old army base ravished by time but rich with history and provide a little hope. The place is deserted and old but it does provide shelter and fresh water (well sorta freshish). When Rick's injuries start to take toll it’s up to David to keep him alive and he's beginning to lose hope. I guess being surrounded by old war items started to affect David because he has this vivid dream, titled the Interlude.

Truthfully, that Interlude aka the Vivid Dream is my fave in the entire book. Without it this book would have just been another read for me, but the dream that David has absolutely wrecked me. Just thinking about it right now makes me all teary eyed and I just wanna go change the words and make them happy. That dream is woven into the story so wonderfully that you forget that it’s just a dream (a beautiful hit you right in the feels dream). It also the "aha" moment for David when he realizes that his feelings are no longer in the crush faze and he has real feeling for Rick. Whether he can act on those feelings is all up to on whether they survive the island.

I enjoyed reading this one, not in love with it but I did really like it. David and Sutton were enjoyable characters and I most especially loved them in the Interlude. What I least enjoyed is the ending which felt very abrupt and a little crazy. I'm just trying to understand how Rick can just up and leave his life and why David would even ask that of him in such a way. I found him a selfish, childish and disliked his approach. Other than that a good read that I liked very much and will look for more from Sarah Madison.

4 Pants Off

Review: Metal Heart by Meredith Shayne

Metal Heart by Meredith Shayne
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 264pgs
4.5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Scott King swore off rock stardom after his band, King Phoenix, crashed and burned. Now in his forties, Scott lives a quiet life as a music producer and session guitarist. But in a box hidden in his wardrobe lie the relics of the past he left behind—a past filled with drugs, booze, and broken hearts. For sixteen years, Scott has had no contact with his former bandmates, so when he’s asked to play at a benefit gig for King Phoenix’s old sound man, his world turns upside down. A King Phoenix reunion means a run-in with Scott’s ex, Ash Walker—and sixteen years ago, believing Ash wanted to leave the band, Scott OD’d and almost died.

Since then, Scott has ruthlessly suppressed his feelings. As a result, he's completely unprepared for the impact of seeing Ash again, or for dealing with his emotions about the band’s demise. He definitely didn’t expect Ash to want to start up where they left off. Now Scott has to decide between his safe existence and the twenty-year-old love song that could cost him his sobriety—and his heart.

Review:
Another book I was very surprised by, and man it’s awesome when that happens. Metal Heart brought out all kinds of emotions in me, if you follow me on twitter and Goodreads then you already know this. There is something very charming about the story, and refreshing about the characters that I just fell in love with. Plus, its rockstars and they're always all kinds of kickass.

The book is broken down in two parts: the 1990s and 2011 (the books present time). In 1990, Scott King is looking for a band to make it big with so he can quit his day job and go on to superstardom. When a friend tells him about a band one man short, and gives him their demo, Scott knows he's found his band. With the smooth sultry voice of the singer giving him feels below the belt, and with a name like King Phoenix it’s like a match made in heaven. When Scott finally meets the band they hit it off right away but it’s the singer Ash that has Scott in a twist. Ash is sexiness personified and Scott is close to losing his shit over the sexy singer, but he's got the music to get lost in and keep his crush under control. Working their way to up in the music scene comes with a lot of hard-work and disappointments but they knew the road to fame wouldn't be easy. From the small gigs, and rocking out at every club/pub they get to play at Scott's feelings for Ash intensifies but he knows that nothing will ever come of it. Until he gets a glass to the face at a gig gone wrong, and Ash is jumping in to take care of him and pouring out his feelings while they lie together in bed. Things seem almost perfect, because together they will take over the world with their music and rock on.

A series of ups and down, and finally all their hard work is paying off. Scott and Ash are in love, but the relationship remains a secret, regardless their happy being with each other. King Phoenix is the next big thing, and people are noticing. Boom, comes the record deal, KP is finally touring, and things couldn't be any better. With a few good years under their belt, suddenly performing for larger crowds has Scott suffering from stage fright and it’s taking a toll. When friends introduce him to pick me uppers that will take his fear away, Scott feels like he can fly. Next, he's using things to stay awake, drugs to go the sleep, and he is just one addicted mess. His love for Ash won't save him this time and everything starts to fall in between the cracks. When Scott realizes he might be losing Ash, he goes on the bend and ODs, and a dream for a band goes up in flames.

Now it’s 2011 and Scott has tried to forget a time when he almost died, and lost the man he loved more than anything. So when he gets a call to a reunion show for a friend who is dying to raise money for his family. Scott can’t be an asshole and say no, but it would mean seeing the band for the first time in 16yrs but most off all it would mean seeing Ash. He decides to do it but it doesn't mean he's gonna be nice about it, because while he was fighting for his life his bitch ass band upped and disappeared. It's that Ash up and disappeared is what hurts the most.

So this book was made of awesome, and I am just surprised by how much it I love it. Though I am singing praises, it did piss me the eff off. First, Scott really knows how to hold a grudge and though I can understand him being pissed about them not coming to see how he was doing, he can’t blame them for his drug use. No one held his face to a line of coke, so he has no one to blame but himself. I am also pissed at all the band members because the douche bag faces could have visited him or at least called to see how he was doing, especially Ash. They were in love and together for years, and just like Scott I can't forgive him easily. No matter the excuses I was all "It Doesn't Matter" all your stupid asses could have called in the last 16 bloody years.

Meredith doesn't shy away from writing the drug use, and you get to see how intense it all was for Scott. The relationship between the men was a real sweet case of young love, and it’s heart breaking to watch them crash and burn. But they were so young going after a dream without any form of guidance. I wouldn’t have minded if this story was a bit longer because I feel a lot of things weren't explored to their full potential. There is a lot of blame, without any real solution so I am feeling a bit dissatisfied with how it all ended. I am crossing my fingers that I get another story, because I am so in love with Scott and Ash.

Should You Read It? I am going to give this one a big YES, because I cried while yelling at this book. This was my first time reading Meredith Shayne and it will not be my last, I loved the rockers, loved all the angst, and I loved Scott/Ash. The writing had such a wonderful flow; I could have easily read another hundred pages. Metal Heart was superb!

4.5 Pants Off

Review: Sinner's Gin by Rhys Ford

Sinner's Gin by Rhys Ford
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 260pgs
4.5 Pants Off

Blurb:
There’s a dead man in Miki St. John’s vintage Pontiac GTO, and he has no idea how it got there.

After Miki survives the tragic accident that killed his best friend and the other members of their band, Sinner’s Gin, all he wants is to hide from the world in the refurbished warehouse he bought before their last tour. But when the man who sexually abused him as a boy is killed and his remains are dumped in Miki’s car, Miki fears Death isn’t done with him yet.

Kane Morgan, the SFPD inspector renting space in the art co-op next door, initially suspects Miki had a hand in the man’s murder, but Kane soon realizes Miki is as much a victim as the man splattered inside the GTO. As the murderer’s body count rises, the attraction between Miki and Kane heats up. Neither man knows if they can make a relationship work, but despite Miki’s emotional damage, Kane is determined to teach him how to love and be loved — provided, of course, Kane can catch the killer before Miki becomes the murderer’s final victim.

Review:
Miki St John is well on his way to super stardom with his band Sinner’s Gin, until faith steps in and takes them away before they have any real time to celebrate their success. They were his family, and in the blink of an eye they were gone. This is just another blow in the life of Miki, coming from a background filled with sexual abuse at the hands of monsters, and the abandonment that left him wondering the streets as a baby (life for Miki hasn’t been easy). His psyche is broken with some of his body, and he just wants’ to hideaway in his warehouse away from the pain and drink himself away.  When a hunk of man shows up on his doorstep yelling at him about a dog, Miki’s life when will never be the same from that point on.

Kane Morgan is sick and tired of a this damn dog stealing his wood (not that kind of wood you perves) and he is about to have a few words with the owner. What he never expected was the beautiful boy with the broken soul to open the door but still he’s gotta do something about that damn dog. Days go by and the beautiful boy is still a fixture in Kane’s brain but once again the dog strikes and Kane has some yelling to do. What he never expected was to find a mutilated body in the man’s garage. So now Kane has to put his cop face on, and deal with the fact that Miki might be a killer or someone he’s going to do all to protect.

The men find themselves thrust into a friendship they never expected and an attraction that would be best avoided. As the murder investigation unfolds Kane finds out more about Miki than he ever wanted to know (or should know) and the information tears at him. Being with Miki is not a good idea, but he’s drawn to him in a way that is unexplainable and judging from the look in Miki’s eyes the feelings are mutual. Now they must figure out who’s leaving body parts on Miki’s front door and throwing things through his window. Seems someone has got a murder agenda and Miki is the key to that lock.

This book is a series of twists and turns, and heartbreaking shit. The angst is so super high my heart was breaking through most of it. The hardest thing for me to read is about the abuse of children, and Ms Ford wrote it in away where I was willing to go and commit murder for these hurt boys. Miki breaks my wee little heart; he’s skittish, feral, and so broken that I just don’t know what will become of him. Yes, he has Kane but he also needs some serious help (something he’s been avoiding). I understand his reasons for not seeking help; it’s his way of coping because going for therapy will open up wounds that he would rather keep closed. I get it, it is not a smart move but I totally get it.

Rhys Ford really knows how to start a book, and how to end it cus “gaaaaaaaw” I am freaking losing my mind with the ending of this one. I was feeling dissatisfied with that scene of Kane and Miki at the end there, but then the author threw a curve ball and I was like “Yes, I like this!” and now I want more. What I didn’t like so much was all the pain and suffering, seriously too much bad is just never good.

Overall, I really liked this one and gobbled it up till my eyes started to hurt. I like Miki cus he’s so broken, and I love Kane and his family. Dude the dog is also made of awesome; he’s a matchmaking genius (I am on to your game Dude).

Should You Read It? If you are a fan of Rhys Ford, yes. I am also down for interracial love in my books and the author is a master at this. I like that she writes Asian characters, and she writes them well.

4.5 Pants Off

Review: Bittersweet by Dallas Coleman

Bittersweet by Dallas Coleman
Prizm Books
Novella: 140pgs
3.75 Pants Off

Blurb:
Twins Marcus and Micah have moved all over the country, trying to find a place to run their favorite business. They love their coffee shop, but there's always something, some sort of malevolent presence always ruins it for them. They don't know who or what it is that haunts them, only that they can't seem to escape it.

This time, though, they may have found just the right place to help them exorcise what ails them. Their new hometown has Spook, who has a pregnant friend, a demon belt buckle, and a way with spirits, as well as a host of other folks who are ready to take Marcus and Micah's problem on. Things get complicated quickly, and nothing is what it seems in this fast-paced urban fantasy.


Review:
In an odd way, I really enjoyed this book. It was interesting, sad, and filled with many unique qualities. Yet, there was missing; the length for one is an issue with so much going on. I wanted more, and for the life of me how is this categorized as YA.

Twin Marcus and Micah have been running from something. They don't know what to call it but they know it has been creating problems for their business. They have had to move a few times and almost every time it never works out. Now they have a new coffee shop, but something still is not right. In comes Spook a Goth looking kid sent by his boss to check out what’s happening in the coffee. He's making the twin nervous and shit all but hits fan when witch Moira arrives, and in comes a talking gigantic bird. Suddenly what was supposed to be a quick job turns into utter disaster with a dead body.

Alright, there is so much interesting things going on in this story but it wasn't fleshed out properly. Too many viewpoints made it jumbled, and all the characters that just popped out of nowhere made it even messier. The reader will have to spend a serious amount of time trying to figure out what's happening and who's who. Mostly I spent all my time going "WHY?" and did all that crazy really needed to happen.

There is no romance, but most of the characters seem to have some romantic entanglements. Which means there is a story for each of the characters (it’s just not written into the story) usually something like that wouldn’t bother me but there was so much, I sorta needed their back-story. I felt like fish out of water flapping around and trying to make sense but in the end succumbing to being on land (wow look at me).

Should You Read It? There is so much to like in this story, and yes it is quite different. However, the level of activity going on required a lot more pages and a tighter plot. Yet, I found it interesting and enjoyed it cus I gobbled it up in about an hour and a half. I wouldn't mind a bit more from this world. The title surely is fitting too!

Double Review: Dex In Blue by Amy Lane

Reviewed by Hannah
Dex In Blue (Johnnies #2) by Amy Lane
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 350pgs
5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Ten years ago David Worral had plans to go to college and the potential for a beautiful future in front of him. One tragic accident later, he fled to California and reinvented himself as Dex, top porn model of Johnnies.

Dex’s life is a tangled mess now, but the guys he works with only see the man who makes them believe even porn stars can lead normal lives. When Kane, one of Dex’s coworkers, gets kicked out of his house, the least Dex can do is give him a place to stay. Kane may be a hyperactive muscle-bound psycho, but he’s also a really nice guy. What could be the harm?

Except nothing is simple—not sex, not love, and not the goofy kid with the big dick and bigger heart who moves his life into Dex’s guest room. When they start negotiating fractured pasts and broken friends, Dex wonders if Kane’s honest nature can untangle the sadness that stalled his once-promising future. With Kane by his side, Dex just might be able to reclaim the boy he once was—and if he can do that, he can give Kane the home and the family he deserves.

Review:
Wow. Just wow. This book is fantastic. Be prepared to completely fall in love with Dex and Kane.

I got 3% into this book and Amy Lane had managed to send me from ‘Holy crap this book is hot’ to ‘oh my god, this is so heartbreaking’ with tears streaming down my face, 3% in! I don’t know where that kind of talent to write comes from, but I’m sure glad people like Amy choose to share such talent with the world.

Dex and Kane *sigh* prepare to fall hard. These two characters practically come off the page. There is nothing better from a book, than when you are so immersed in it, it is like the characters are flesh and bone, you somehow become part of their lives, and they are right there on your sofa (insert correct word here for different nationalities, what, couch?) next to you.

I didn’t want to let these two go. Their was such tenderness to their relationship that the reader falls head over heels for them, and you just want to keep reading, to keep being by their side as life showers them with the happiness they deserve.

This book isn’t an easy ride. Dex and Kane have to battle through some personal issues and emotions, that impact their ability to be there for each other, each with their own insecurities, but what the reader realises before they do, is that really, what they both need is to let someone take care of them, and eventually they open up to that idea.

It is the most heart wrenching parts of this book, Dex’s confrontation with his family for example, or Kane trying to fix his sisters life, that you see THEIR life, Dex and Kane’s, at its best, how they manage to envelop the other with love and support that will leave you a gooey puddle as you feel privileged for getting to be front row for such a love story.

Kane is considered a ‘simple’ person, whilst Dex likes to plan, and deconstruct situations; however that would be far too simple a way to look at these characters. Although it is Kane’s simple way of dealing with life that makes him someone so approachable to the reader, he has insecurities that open him up to be more than just the easy going guy in this relationship, and he has wisdom beyond his years, and more insight than he would ever give himself credit for, when it comes to taking care of Dex’s heart.

Seriously, this book actually makes me want to whimper at how much I love these two characters. It carries over so much of what was sheer brilliance in ‘Chase in Shadows’. You get more than the love of a couple; you get to see a family. How this group of guys from ‘Johnnies’ makes sure that everyone is always taken care of, which makes this book even more heart-warming, as you find so much of the story and so many of the characters have grabbed your heart, away from just Dex and Kane.

Not many writers have the skill to make sure that you understand each character they are writing about, to explain to the reader why each character away from the main arc is worth caring about, but Amy Lane does, making her reads always that bit more special.

This book is easy to read, because through the pain, confrontations, and regrets there is always love, always hope, meaning the reader can always find a way to smile, and keep their heart light.

Read it, enjoy, and just bask in the love. Seriously, these guys will just make you swoon.

5 Pants Off

---

Reviewed by Buggy

Review:

Opening Line: “It was okay right?”

I absolutely adored Chase In Shadow, so how happy was I that Amy Lanes latest book Dex In Blue brought us back into that same world. Yup we re-enter “Johnnies” gay-for-pay porn with David ”Dex” Worral, who makes this book a true companion piece by going through parts of Chase’s heartbreaking story all over again from his own POV. Thankfully Dex’s story isn’t as emotionally exhausting or angst filled as Chase’s, I mean it has its moments (this is Amy Lane after all) but I didn’t feel like I’d been hit by a truck and needed therapy after this one -and I mean that in the most fan-girly way:) I also already knew the large cast of characters going in so I didn’t have to struggle sorting out their dual names again. And Dex, well I kinda loved him plus there’s his boyfriend Kane and he’s such a laid-back, unassuming sweetheart that you can’t help but smile at his view of the world. There are also some really funny bits…

“Could you come and help me edit this last frickin’ video. You’ve fucked girl’s right? You know what a pussy is supposed to look like? Dex winced “Yeah sort of.” “Excellent. I need someone who can tell me if this shit looks hot or just weird.”

David Worral’s life has just been shattered; his best friend, love of his life and first and only male lover has just been taken from him in a tragic accident, destroying his once limitless future and compelling David to flee Montana and its memories. Reinventing himself in California starts out innocently enough, when his parents can no longer afford his college education, and on the suggestion of a girlfriend he arrives at Johnnies, a gay-for-pay porn company. David wasn’t gay but his alter ego “Dex” sure as hell was and Dex was going to make him very wealthy.

8 years later and David/Dex is essentially running Johnnies, spending as much time behind the camera now as in front of it. He’s the go-to guy, the fix it guy, the guy with the plan especially when the owner has a nose full of blow. Dex has finally admitted to himself that he’s gay after having his heart broken by another Johnnies model and is lonely. He needs a friend, someone else in his beautiful empty house and that’s how he finds Kane.

Carlos “Kane” is young, hung, gorgeous, living in the moment and needing a place to crash. He also likes sex, I mean that’s how he ended up doing porn (might as well get paid for it right) who cares if it’s with a man if it feels good. Kane is also a nice guy to a fault, paying for his nieces hospital bills with what his sister dubs his “dirty” porn money and even giving her his apartment so she can avoid an abusive boyfriend. (I really wanted to slap the sister)

“Dex laughed a little. “Aren’t you supposed to be straight? He asked, but his body relaxed into Kane’s, and that made Kane happy. “I am straight”, Kane mumbled. “Except when I’m fucking guys, “I’m plenty straight. Now shut up and sleep. And don’t feel bad. That was amazing.”

So Kane and Dex are playing house, sleeping in the same bed while Kane’s pets take the spare bedroom. I mean they’ve done it at work so they might as well take comfort in each other here too. What starts out as friends with benefits quickly changes into something else though and it’s interesting how Lane manages to make the sex scenes in front of the camera so different from the ones behind closed doors. She also creates a real sense of family within the Johnnies staff and all the obstacles that life throws at them. The HEA here is awesome although if I’m honest a little far-fetched. I mean as nice as it was and as much as I wanted “that” to happen there’s just no way the powers that be would let it.

“God made me gay. Dex made me realize it wasn’t a bad thing” *sigh*

Cheers

4.5 Pants Off

Review: Book #1 Chase in Shadow

Review: Mourning Heaven by Amy Lane

Reviewed by Buggy
Mourning Heaven by Amy Lane
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 200pgs
3.5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Heroes fall.

Peter first came to the tiny backwater of Daisy, California, as a child, and he was sure of one thing: his cousin Michael would take care of him. When Michael started a friendship with the fragile, haunted Bodi Kovacs, Peter's consolation in losing any claim to Bodi was that Michael would care for him too. But tragedy struck, and Michael ripped himself out of their world and threw away the people who loved him most.

Six years later, Michael is coming home in a box. All it took to destroy a hero was a town full of bigotry and hatred. Reclaiming him will take strength of heart that neither Peter nor Bodi had six years ago. Since Michael left, Bodi has been lost and alone. Peter can try to make Bodi his and take the role Michael should have had, but first he and Bodi have to confront the past. They will need to face Michael, the good and the bad, the beauty and the sadness, and see his memory truly for what it was and not what it could have been. It's a simple act that may destroy them both: sifting through the flaming ruins of heaven is a sure way to annihilate a bleeding mortal heart.

Review:
Opening Line:” Daisy, California Population 2,726

As much as I love Amy Lane I have to admit this one was a struggle for me to get through. Don’t get me wrong the writing is still fantastic and there are passages that literally take your breath away but the story is also so painful, so angry, so freaking desperate and depressing that it just became more then I could take. I wasn’t even convinced of the love story taking place here, it seemed a little frantic, a little violent, a little for the moment.

You’d think with a title like “Mourning Heaven” I would have been prepared though, especially after already having my heart shredded (in a good way) by several of Lane’s other books. I was expecting angst and pain here but I was also expecting awesomeness or at least something redeeming or hopeful to cling to throughout this sad story. But with every page angst-riddled and every character broken, tormented and grief stricken this was ultimately just exhausting.

“Oh shit he was disintegrating, dissolving, coming apart again and Peter needed to be there for once, someone needed to be there to catch Bodi as he fell. Peter was up and wrapping his arms around Bodi before one more painful word happened and Bodi was crying like he hadn’t cried when --- (spoiler) and Peter was crying with him because this was Michael Bodi was crying about and Michael had hurt and Michael had broken and he hadn’t let them fix him and now he would never be fixed and they’d always be a little bit broken in their souls where he’d left a Michael shaped hole.”

Peter moved to the small prejudiced town of Daisy at the age of 12. He’d moved around a lot in his short life and while his mother loved him she was just never able to provide for him eventually depositing him with his Aunt Aileen and her son Michael. It wasn’t all bad though because there was Michael. For Peter his cousin is the sun and the moon, he is everything good and strong and protective and right in the world. Just to hear him breathing through the thin bedroom walls at night makes him feel like everything is going to be okay. And then there’s Michael’s friend Bodi, the boy that Peter loves from the moment he sets eyes on him. Of course it’s not easy being gay in a town like Daisy the church is …well very vocal in its views on that sort of evil behavior and everyone in this backwards town goes to church so it’s not a place you want to be out.

“He’d told his mother that he thought boys were more beautiful than girls, and she’d told him that he would have to be either brave or quiet about that, especially in Daisy.”

The meat of this story however takes place years later; Peter is now 23 and the only one still living in Daisy. Michael his hero, his everything who he hasn’t seen in 6 years is finally coming home and Peter now has the task of finding Bodi and bringing him back too because Michael is coming home in a casket. Slowly we the readers learn what happened 6 years ago that splintered the trio, sending Bodi off in the middle of the night into parts unknown and Michael to the nearest recruiting office where he enlisted in the service.

Together Bodi and Peter have to get through their grief and pay homage to Michael, restoring his motorcycle and giving him a proper send-off while trying to get through the hate, ignorance and prejudice that this town tends to feed on. Bodi is so broken that it will be a miracle if he survives even with Peter’s love and Peter; well he has to learn that even heroes aren’t perfect.

3.5 Pants Off

Review: Aaron by J.P Barnaby

Reviewed by Hannah
Aaron by J.P Barnaby
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 238pgs
5 Pants Off

Blurb:
I can’t describe what it’s like to want to scream every minute of every day.

Two years after a terrifying night of pain destroyed his normal teenage existence, Aaron Downing still clings to the hope that one day, he will be a fully functional human being. But his life remains a constant string of nightmares, flashbacks, and fear. When, in his very first semester of college, he’s assigned Spencer Thomas as a partner for his programming project, Aaron decides that maybe “normal” is overrated. If he could just learn to control his fear, that could be enough for him to find his footing again.

With his parents’ talk of institutionalizing him—of sacrificing him for the sake of his brothers’ stability—Aaron becomes desperate to find a way to cope with his psychological damage or even fake normalcy. Can his new shrink control his own demons long enough to treat Aaron, or will he only deepen the damage?

Desperate to understand his attraction for Spencer, Aaron holds on to his sanity with both hands as it threatens to spin out of control.

Review:
This book is simply stunning.

This is a story that is inarguably filled with pain and hurting that is beyond most peoples imagination, and I think we can all thank God for that, but this book evolves into something so much more than pain and trauma, it becomes one of beauty, peace and compassion.

The character of Aaron has been developed beautifully by J.P Barnaby. The story is gently unfolded before you as you piece together the events that have lead to this traumatised and broken young man struggling to just exist in a life that no longer feels like his. The harrowing and horrific pain that was inflicted upon him and his friend Juliette are delivered slowly to the reader, in the form of Aaron’s flashbacks, and gradually your tears will flow as you realise just what this young man is living with.

The fact that Barnaby doesn’t delve straight into Aaron’s attack is nothing short of a blessing on the reader. It’s not that his pain isn’t made clear from page one, but you are not crushed with the weight of his memories in an instant, you piece together the puzzle in parts, as Aaron faces each battle the day brings, allowing the reader time to come to terms with the traumas inflicted on him, creating even greater depth to his character.

The same can be said for Spencer. A character with his own daemons to battle, his own insecurities of the world to overcome, but who provides so much lightness in this book through the weight he helps lift off Aaron. Spencer’s deafness is written beautifully and you are given a clear picture of what his life is like in a world of no sound, and the struggles he must face. Inside his head, you learn of the normalcy that Spencer’s yearns for, for someone in the world to just see him and not his disability.

It is here, these wants, from both boys, that the most beautiful book I have ever read really blossoms. These boys both crave, but don’t know how to achieve, the same thing, a place in a world where they can be comfortable and where they can find acceptance, and they find just that in each other. Spencer’s reaction to his first meeting with Aaron is enough to show you the ability he could have to comfort Aaron, as he doesn't walk away full of judgments and ridicule at Aaron's obvious pain, he is full of nothing but concern and aching to help and understand the boy he scared the living daylights out of.

This book left me breathless. I went into it prepared for the heartache, the torture this story would inflict on my soul as I struggled to find a way to comfort Aaron from the safety and warmth of my living room, but I found I didn't need to comfort him, Spencer was there, by his side, and as you read on, you realize that Aaron not only has hope in the form of his best friend, but so do you as you start to breathe again, knowing Aaron has found someone who can bring him back to life.

Every character in this book is so lovingly and beautifully constructed that even though the pain is screaming at you from every angle, the pain of that horrific night, the pain of a family barely functioning, in both of the boy’s households, I hope you find, as I did, that the love screams at you even louder. You are given the time to understand each characters own struggles to overcome the earth shattering events in their lives. The bond shown between Aaron and his brothers, even under such strain is enough to warm your heart, even before you can see any light in Aaron’s life. The pain of a mother who can’t touch or comfort her son is overpowering, but incredibly moving for the reader, as you grasp how much lies ahead for this family to struggle through.

Spencer’s father in this book, along with his son, offers the chance of a future. Although Spencer struggles with his own issues and worries in regards to his fathers drinking, he still sees the ability to help Aaron in letting his father reach out to him, and as this new character relationship blossoms, between Aaron and Dr Thomas, it allows for Spencer and Aaron’s relationship to move forward.

The beauty in their friendship is enough to make your heart ache. As they communicate through IMing and email, you can see the walls break down on both sides and the light the shines through both of them. Each giggle or laugh that erupts from Aaron will make you want to weep with joy, and the reader will realize  probably long before he does, that he is still alive, and he is still capable of seeing and finding love in the world.

I wish I could find the words to adequately describe how much this book will warm your soul. It will be some of the worst pain you could ever read about, but it will also be one of the greatest example of love, understanding and acceptance that will leave you blissfully peaceful with the hope that beyond the pages of this book, Aaron’s world will once again be one filled with nothing but enough safety, comfort and love that he will always find the strength to fight the storms.

The pain in this book defiantly has the ability to haunt you, but I found, by the end, the examples of love and tenderness are enough to heal you, and leave you with a warm smile on your face (and possibly tears in your eyes).

5 Pants Off

Review: Dirty Secret by Rhys Ford

Dirty Secret (A Cole McGinnis Mystery #2) by Rhys Ford
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 234pgs
4.5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Loving Kim Jae-Min isn’t always easy: Jae is gun-shy about being openly homosexual. Ex-cop turned private investigator Cole McGinnis doesn’t know any other way to be. Still, he understands where Jae is coming from. Traditional Korean men aren’t gay—at least not usually where people can see them.

But Cole can’t spend too much time unraveling his boyfriend’s issues. He has a job to do. When a singer named Scarlet asks him to help find Park Dae-Hoon, a gay Korean man who disappeared nearly two decades ago, Cole finds himself submerged in the tangled world of rich Korean families, where obligation and politics mean sacrificing happiness to preserve corporate empires. Soon the bodies start piling up without rhyme or reason. With every step Cole takes toward locating Park Dae-Hoon, another person meets their demise—and someone Cole loves could be next on the murderer’s list.

Review:
Thank you Rhys Ford for surpassing my expectations and making me happy. Let’s be frank, sometimes sequels can be a let down and though I was excited out of pants to read Dirty Secret I wasn't anticipating gold. Well folks I got platinum, I never thought I would like this book so much and I enjoyed it a lot more than the first. It was like sitting down to a kick ass episode of Cole McGinnis P.I. Sometimes even the most awesome has faults and so I do have a few things that bothered me.

Dirty Secret begins with a bang just like the first book Dirty Kiss, where Cole finds himself on one of his unusual cases. Think sex shop and instead of "Dick in a box", it's dick in a bottle. It’s a good thing he has his beautiful Korean lover Jae-Min to feed him and give him endless amount of cuddles, but it seems his cuddles are gonna have to wait. When the beautiful Scarlet, sexy Filipino man/woman shows up on his doorstep with a case to find a missing person Cole knows things are about to go south. Because being tangled up in Korean business either leads to him getting shot or people dying.

Gay and being Korean does not mix well and Cole is seeing it firsthand with his investigation. It’s also something he is experiencing on a personal level with Jae-Min because good Korean boys must get married, make the babies, and make their families happy. Now Cole is digging up old dirt and opening old wounds and that isn't going over well with the prestigious families. When bodies start dropping like flies, Cole knows he should walk away but he cant help wanting to find the truth even if it might cost him the ones he loves the most.

There is so much to enjoy in this book, with its constant action and bombs of surprise. I laughed so much and cried as mush equally. Cole's estranged parents make an appearance and man... was it sucky. They really brought the hatred and my heart broke so much for him, which really made me realize how much I am wary of Jae-Min for him. Yes, he is this beautiful Korean and that is my ultimate bias but I feel like Cole is living his truth and its not easy and he deserves someone who is living equally as honest. It’s a complicated relationship and I am looking forward to where the author is taking them. Their future might be unclear but they still know how to set the sheets on fire and cause a pants losing, "Wowza" they were hot.

My overall peeve is that I don't think the story came together well. It went all over the place by the end, and then the conclusion just felt "Meh". I kept wondering, "So the point of this was?" Would have been better if someone was trying to keep the truth from coming out instead of a looney with a gun (because really he was just a loony with a gun).

Overall, I really enjoyed the story and am looking forward to the next book in a pants-less state. I really am hoping Jae-Min proves something in the future cus right now I just view him as the glorified pretty boy who is still just there (I want him to shine). Cole is still the best and one of my fave characters ever, he's really made of awesome. I believe fans of the first book will enjoy Dirty Secret and then faint at the end of it. I have a sneaking suspicion that instead of Chaebols, Cole will be taking up with the Yakuza it only seems fair that he handles his Japanese side.

SideNote- The next book should be titled Dirty Pants y/y (ok that would be too much)

SideNote2- I think this book should come with a glossary for all the Korean words. Because not everyone will be a pro like moi >.<

4.5 Pants Off