Review: Blackbird Knitting in a Bunny's Lair by Amy Lane

Reviewed by Whuppsy
Blackbird Knitting in a Bunny's Lair (Granby Knitting #4) by Amy Lane
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 244pgs
5 Pants Off

Blurb: After three years of waiting for “rabbit” Jeremy to commit to a life in Granby—and a life together—Aiden Rhodes was appalled when Jeremy sustained a nearly fatal beating to keep a friend out of harm's way. How could Aiden’s bunny put himself in danger like that?

Aiden needs to get over himself, because Jeremy has a long road to recovery, and he's going to need Aiden's promise of love every step of the way. Jeremy has new scars on his face and body to deal with, and his heart can’t afford any more wounds.

When their friend’s baby needs some special care, the two men find common ground to firm up their shaky union. With Aiden’s support and his boss’s inspiration, Jeremy comes up with a plan to make sure Ariadne's little blackbird comes into this world with everything she needs. While Jeremy grows into his new role as protector, Aiden needs to ease back on his protectiveness over his once-timid lover. Aiden may be a wolf in student's clothing and Jeremy may be a rabbit of a man, but that doesn’t mean they can’t walk the wilds of Granby together.

Review

This is this book is a continuation of the series, however, it’s mostly about Aiden and Jeremy. I have read lots of Amy Lane’s books before, but not this series, so I was very interested in coming into this series and seeing if I could fall for these characters. I should have known better. Once again Amy has delivered a wonderful book.

We pick up this book at Jeremy is sacrificing himself for Stanley. Well, part of it was for Johnny who saved his bacon 3 years ago and who is involved with Stanley and would be heartbroken if anything happened to him. Jeremy has finally decided to stop running and is standing still.

Jeremy is having to come to grips with the decision that he made in the sense that he no longer looks the same as before. He’s got this really great heart and he only wants to be seen as a good man. Yes, he’s made his mistakes, but he’s served his time as is trying to have a better life. Jeremy is so sweet and so giving and yet, he really doesn’t see how good of a man he truly has become. For some reason, Jeremy seems to think that his past is all that there is to him and he doesn’t see that those in his life know very well that that isn’t true. Jeremy just needs to see that for himself.

Aiden on the other hand is dealing with getting Jeremy back up and running. Letting go of the anger that he feels. How could Jeremy do that? Put his life in jeopardy like that? Aiden is having to really come to grips with what happened and just what Jeremy means to him. That he wanted Jeremy. That he waited until Jeremy was ready for him. Aiden is this great guy who has this family that loves him so much. He’s got this other family at the mill where he works that show him love and acceptance and guidance if needed. Aiden is so strong and so determined for Jeremy to know that he’s loved, both the good and bad sides of himself, equally.
 

The secondary characters are so wonderful. You get the feeling of such love and acceptance and understanding from them. Craw is this wonderful gruff man who does what he can for those in his life that he loves. I love that he’s got this really tender side to him. Ariadne has become Jeremy’s best friend. Ariadne and her husband, Rory are going to have a baby with a cleft palate and they will be in need. Even with all that is going on with them, there is love and acceptance there. Jeremy and Ari’s relationship blossoms and grows into such love and friendship, it was really sweet to watch.
 

This story had so much going on. Love. Not only romantic love, but the love of your family and also the family that you have created. Acceptance of the past and who you are now. I guess you can call that acceptance of self. I love the sense of community that this story had. I loved the way everyone came out to help Ari and Rory was beautiful. I love that Jeremy got the chance to seek and gain redemption. That commitment was needed and how Jeremy stepped up to the plate and decided to knock it out of the park.

Amy is a Master Storyteller. I have read her works and have never read a book that made me not fall in love with her characters. I’m in there with them and going on the journey right along side of them. There was actually no real angst in this story. Just Jeremy’s in regard to commitment, but other than that, angst-free. I’m not much of a knitter, but the way Amy described the knitting in this book, it just amazing!! I could actually see what the patterns were. AMAZING!!
 

This book was beautiful to read. I enjoyed the ride and I know that if you love Amy’s Granby Knitting Series, this is one that you’ll really love. Don’t wait, go and get this book and be prepared to be taken on a journey.

5 Pants Off

 

Review: Shiny by Amy Lane

Reviewed by Whuppsy
Shiny by Amy Lane
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 200pgs
5 Pants Off 

Blurb:
Will Lafferty and Kenny Scalia are both having sort of a day. Will gets fired for letting fifth graders read Harry Potter, and Kenny finds his boyfriend and his sex toys in bed with a complete stranger. When Will knocks over Kenny's trash can—and strews Kenny's personal business all over the street—it feels like the perfect craptastic climax to the sewage of suckage that has rained down on them both.

But ever-friendly, ever-kind Will asks snarky Kenny out for a beer—God knows they both need one—and two amazing things occur: Kenny discovers talking to Will might be the best form of intercourse ever, and Will discovers he's gay.

Their unlikely friendship seems like the perfect platonic match until Will reveals how very much more he’s been feeling for Kenny almost since the beginning. But Kenny’s worried. Will’s new-found sexuality is bright and glittery and shiny, but what happens when that wears off? Is Will's infatuation with Kenny strong enough to stay real?

Review
Amy Lane is ALWAYS A MUST BUY for me. Her books have always dragged me over coals. I read on of her books and know that I need a bubble bath and a big ol’ glass of wine to just relax and be. So, when I had the chance to review her newest book, Shiny!, I totally jumped at the chance.

Shiny! Is about Will Lafferty and Kenny Scalia these two guys were just so sweet and wonderful together. I can’t imagine ANYONE else for them. They just fit together like nothing I’ve seen in awhile.

Will is a grade school teacher and he also does web design work. He’s this sweet, kind, loving, self -proclaimed Mommy’s boy. He’s got the kindest heart and sweetest disposition that I’ve ever read about. He’s just amazing. He’s kinds seeing this woman, but as he states repeatedly in the story, he’s just not really into her. Hell, he’s not been into any woman that he’s met or slept with. He also wants to write a comic book, but he’s not that great of an illustrator.

Kenny Scalia is this amazing guy who is so colorful and wonderful. He’s this sweet guy who just wants to have the love and partner and family that he’s always dreamed of. He is so just freaking cute, I don’t even have the words to describe how much I really liked Kenny. He is a bit insecure when it comes to his worth as he’s had guys he’s dated in the past leave him for something, shiny.

I love the story moves from present day to the past. I loved seeing that they were together and yet, how it all began. It was like reading an epilogue only it was part of the story. We got to see how they ended up and how they began in one swoop.

I loved how the story just flowed along the pages. There was nothing jarring to pull me from what I was reading. I got to enjoy reading about how these two men fell in love. How sweet and lighthearted it was. Now, Amy is KNOWN for ripping you to shreds and this story didn’t have that. It had just a sweet touch of angst, but nothing too heart-wrenching. It was just an enjoyable read.

The secondary characters gave just enough to let you know that they loved and appreciated and really liked our characters. They allowed our characters to just be and also to have some really amazing sounding boards. They added just enough to the story without overwhelming it. I really loved Will’s Mommy!! She had just the absolute love for her son and when he announced that he was gay, took it in stride. Like it wasn’t anything big enough to make her stop loving her son.

I will say that the humor in the story was just amazing. I loved that this story made me laugh and feel really good. I always love a story that makes me feel good and this one really did. The way that Will and Kenny bantered and flirted with each other was so freaking precious. I loved that the way that they met was so funny and yet the beginning of the very best thing that ever happened to them.

I love that their relationship grew over time. That it wasn’t insta-love that they became friends before becoming lovers. That made their relationship all the more special. I loved that they supported and cheered the other on when good things happened. I love that no matter what was going on, they had each other to lean on.

I will say that this is just the kind of story you can read when you want a sweet, tender romance. When you’ve had a bad day, reading this will definitely put you in a better mood. Amy has really pulled out an amazing story and just let you have a ball going along for the ride.

Read. This. Book. You will not be disappointed.

5 Pants Off

Review: City Mouse by Amy Lane & Aleksandr Voinov

City Mouse (Country Mouse, #2) by Amy Lane & Aleksandr Voinov
Riptide Publishing
Novel: 160pgs
3 Pants Off

Blurb:
A magical weekend, a breathless declaration, a happy ever after . . . Right?

Wrong.

When Malcolm Kavanagh took his first step toward emotional maturity by declaring his love to Owen Watson, that was just the first chapter in their story. Anyone who’s ever been in love knows that happy endings take a lot more work than that.

One problem: Malcolm has never been in love. He doesn’t know the rules of a relationship and isn’t confident enough to trust that his is real. He learns the ropes by sharing his life and his flat with Owen, but relationship boot camp proves a challenge. Everything is a struggle, from accepting Owen’s low-status job to putting his boyfriend above his personal trainer.

Luckily, Owen knows a little more about relationships, and labors patiently to survive the first six weeks of their life together. From the art galleries of Cambridge to the tawdry majesty of the Dominion theatre, Owen adapts to England while Malcolm adapts to the whole human race. Maybe, if Owen is patient enough and Malcolm learns to give, the two of them can make it past Relationship Armageddon to a real happy ending.

Review:
All the ways I was really excited about reading this one but in the end I am feeling very dissatisfied about it. The charm that was present in the first book was surely lacking in this one, in the end everything felt all over the place and I couldn't quite make a connection with most of what was happening.

We met Owen in Country Mouse, where he was this small town boy visiting London and staying with a friend. When he meets Malcolm in a seedy bar, sparks fly and he finds himself spending his last weekend in bed with Malcolm. It was supposed to be a one weekend fling type of thing, but suddenly feelings are involved and Owen wants to stay but it would all depend on his subby top that has no idea about the ins and out of any kind of relationship. Well, to Owen surprise Malcolm wanted him to stay and thus begins the life of a relationship forged in a weekend. City Mouse picks up from there, and can their love that happened so quickly survive the coming of being together every day, or is their love destined to doom due to overall pride and the fact that Malcolm just can't admit he's a sub through and through.

City Mouse was just really a look into see how Malcolm and Owen relationship is faring, and Owen adapting to London life. Their relationship stand to take a hit when Owen gets a job in a seedy part of town (seedy for Malcolm) and his other half doesn't approve. Thus begins the struggle of what’s a not good enough, doubt about rushing into things, and all that pride Malcolm seems to possess. It’s the aftermath of when things just seem to happen all too soon, and the realities of life creeps up on them. Then, all that just seemed to get wrapped up in a cloud of sex (very hot sex) but a lot nonetheless. This is the story to see if Owen and Malcolm can make it past the honeymoon sweet life, or sink to depths of a love that happened all too quickly.

Whereas I loved Country Mouse...City Mouse just didn't pack all that magic. I wasn't n the same wave length as Owen and Malcolm, I feel like a lot got lost in translation and I was lost. The entirety of the story felt stuck in the same place, and where I felt Owen is a solid character, Malcolm is still just stuck in a place. I don't get his thinking, and I think this is where the author styles crashed (not burned) just crashed. To top it all off, it all just seemed like sex, sex, and more hot sex. I ain't a prude but...for this it just felt like too much. I was getting all the lust, and I couldn't get past that. I got the "I love you(s)" but most of the time I didn't feel them, and the story felt still incomplete. Malcolm is such a mess and I feel like more should be in order, cus Owen needs to top the hell out of him, and he needs to stop being such a sporadic mess (slow your freaking role Malcolm). So, while not as good as Country Mouse it was still a nice look into the after.

Should You Read It? Yes, if you liked Owen and Malcolm from Country Mouse. A really nice look into their love story, though far from perfect, still freaking cute to read. My connection to characters was less in this one, but still a solid story by very talented writer and it’s worth a read if anything for the pants losing heat.

3 Pants Off

Review: Book #1 Country Mouse

Double Review: Dex In Blue by Amy Lane

Reviewed by Hannah
Dex In Blue (Johnnies #2) by Amy Lane
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 350pgs
5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Ten years ago David Worral had plans to go to college and the potential for a beautiful future in front of him. One tragic accident later, he fled to California and reinvented himself as Dex, top porn model of Johnnies.

Dex’s life is a tangled mess now, but the guys he works with only see the man who makes them believe even porn stars can lead normal lives. When Kane, one of Dex’s coworkers, gets kicked out of his house, the least Dex can do is give him a place to stay. Kane may be a hyperactive muscle-bound psycho, but he’s also a really nice guy. What could be the harm?

Except nothing is simple—not sex, not love, and not the goofy kid with the big dick and bigger heart who moves his life into Dex’s guest room. When they start negotiating fractured pasts and broken friends, Dex wonders if Kane’s honest nature can untangle the sadness that stalled his once-promising future. With Kane by his side, Dex just might be able to reclaim the boy he once was—and if he can do that, he can give Kane the home and the family he deserves.

Review:
Wow. Just wow. This book is fantastic. Be prepared to completely fall in love with Dex and Kane.

I got 3% into this book and Amy Lane had managed to send me from ‘Holy crap this book is hot’ to ‘oh my god, this is so heartbreaking’ with tears streaming down my face, 3% in! I don’t know where that kind of talent to write comes from, but I’m sure glad people like Amy choose to share such talent with the world.

Dex and Kane *sigh* prepare to fall hard. These two characters practically come off the page. There is nothing better from a book, than when you are so immersed in it, it is like the characters are flesh and bone, you somehow become part of their lives, and they are right there on your sofa (insert correct word here for different nationalities, what, couch?) next to you.

I didn’t want to let these two go. Their was such tenderness to their relationship that the reader falls head over heels for them, and you just want to keep reading, to keep being by their side as life showers them with the happiness they deserve.

This book isn’t an easy ride. Dex and Kane have to battle through some personal issues and emotions, that impact their ability to be there for each other, each with their own insecurities, but what the reader realises before they do, is that really, what they both need is to let someone take care of them, and eventually they open up to that idea.

It is the most heart wrenching parts of this book, Dex’s confrontation with his family for example, or Kane trying to fix his sisters life, that you see THEIR life, Dex and Kane’s, at its best, how they manage to envelop the other with love and support that will leave you a gooey puddle as you feel privileged for getting to be front row for such a love story.

Kane is considered a ‘simple’ person, whilst Dex likes to plan, and deconstruct situations; however that would be far too simple a way to look at these characters. Although it is Kane’s simple way of dealing with life that makes him someone so approachable to the reader, he has insecurities that open him up to be more than just the easy going guy in this relationship, and he has wisdom beyond his years, and more insight than he would ever give himself credit for, when it comes to taking care of Dex’s heart.

Seriously, this book actually makes me want to whimper at how much I love these two characters. It carries over so much of what was sheer brilliance in ‘Chase in Shadows’. You get more than the love of a couple; you get to see a family. How this group of guys from ‘Johnnies’ makes sure that everyone is always taken care of, which makes this book even more heart-warming, as you find so much of the story and so many of the characters have grabbed your heart, away from just Dex and Kane.

Not many writers have the skill to make sure that you understand each character they are writing about, to explain to the reader why each character away from the main arc is worth caring about, but Amy Lane does, making her reads always that bit more special.

This book is easy to read, because through the pain, confrontations, and regrets there is always love, always hope, meaning the reader can always find a way to smile, and keep their heart light.

Read it, enjoy, and just bask in the love. Seriously, these guys will just make you swoon.

5 Pants Off

---

Reviewed by Buggy

Review:

Opening Line: “It was okay right?”

I absolutely adored Chase In Shadow, so how happy was I that Amy Lanes latest book Dex In Blue brought us back into that same world. Yup we re-enter “Johnnies” gay-for-pay porn with David ”Dex” Worral, who makes this book a true companion piece by going through parts of Chase’s heartbreaking story all over again from his own POV. Thankfully Dex’s story isn’t as emotionally exhausting or angst filled as Chase’s, I mean it has its moments (this is Amy Lane after all) but I didn’t feel like I’d been hit by a truck and needed therapy after this one -and I mean that in the most fan-girly way:) I also already knew the large cast of characters going in so I didn’t have to struggle sorting out their dual names again. And Dex, well I kinda loved him plus there’s his boyfriend Kane and he’s such a laid-back, unassuming sweetheart that you can’t help but smile at his view of the world. There are also some really funny bits…

“Could you come and help me edit this last frickin’ video. You’ve fucked girl’s right? You know what a pussy is supposed to look like? Dex winced “Yeah sort of.” “Excellent. I need someone who can tell me if this shit looks hot or just weird.”

David Worral’s life has just been shattered; his best friend, love of his life and first and only male lover has just been taken from him in a tragic accident, destroying his once limitless future and compelling David to flee Montana and its memories. Reinventing himself in California starts out innocently enough, when his parents can no longer afford his college education, and on the suggestion of a girlfriend he arrives at Johnnies, a gay-for-pay porn company. David wasn’t gay but his alter ego “Dex” sure as hell was and Dex was going to make him very wealthy.

8 years later and David/Dex is essentially running Johnnies, spending as much time behind the camera now as in front of it. He’s the go-to guy, the fix it guy, the guy with the plan especially when the owner has a nose full of blow. Dex has finally admitted to himself that he’s gay after having his heart broken by another Johnnies model and is lonely. He needs a friend, someone else in his beautiful empty house and that’s how he finds Kane.

Carlos “Kane” is young, hung, gorgeous, living in the moment and needing a place to crash. He also likes sex, I mean that’s how he ended up doing porn (might as well get paid for it right) who cares if it’s with a man if it feels good. Kane is also a nice guy to a fault, paying for his nieces hospital bills with what his sister dubs his “dirty” porn money and even giving her his apartment so she can avoid an abusive boyfriend. (I really wanted to slap the sister)

“Dex laughed a little. “Aren’t you supposed to be straight? He asked, but his body relaxed into Kane’s, and that made Kane happy. “I am straight”, Kane mumbled. “Except when I’m fucking guys, “I’m plenty straight. Now shut up and sleep. And don’t feel bad. That was amazing.”

So Kane and Dex are playing house, sleeping in the same bed while Kane’s pets take the spare bedroom. I mean they’ve done it at work so they might as well take comfort in each other here too. What starts out as friends with benefits quickly changes into something else though and it’s interesting how Lane manages to make the sex scenes in front of the camera so different from the ones behind closed doors. She also creates a real sense of family within the Johnnies staff and all the obstacles that life throws at them. The HEA here is awesome although if I’m honest a little far-fetched. I mean as nice as it was and as much as I wanted “that” to happen there’s just no way the powers that be would let it.

“God made me gay. Dex made me realize it wasn’t a bad thing” *sigh*

Cheers

4.5 Pants Off

Review: Book #1 Chase in Shadow

Review: Mourning Heaven by Amy Lane

Reviewed by Buggy
Mourning Heaven by Amy Lane
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 200pgs
3.5 Pants Off

Blurb:
Heroes fall.

Peter first came to the tiny backwater of Daisy, California, as a child, and he was sure of one thing: his cousin Michael would take care of him. When Michael started a friendship with the fragile, haunted Bodi Kovacs, Peter's consolation in losing any claim to Bodi was that Michael would care for him too. But tragedy struck, and Michael ripped himself out of their world and threw away the people who loved him most.

Six years later, Michael is coming home in a box. All it took to destroy a hero was a town full of bigotry and hatred. Reclaiming him will take strength of heart that neither Peter nor Bodi had six years ago. Since Michael left, Bodi has been lost and alone. Peter can try to make Bodi his and take the role Michael should have had, but first he and Bodi have to confront the past. They will need to face Michael, the good and the bad, the beauty and the sadness, and see his memory truly for what it was and not what it could have been. It's a simple act that may destroy them both: sifting through the flaming ruins of heaven is a sure way to annihilate a bleeding mortal heart.

Review:
Opening Line:” Daisy, California Population 2,726

As much as I love Amy Lane I have to admit this one was a struggle for me to get through. Don’t get me wrong the writing is still fantastic and there are passages that literally take your breath away but the story is also so painful, so angry, so freaking desperate and depressing that it just became more then I could take. I wasn’t even convinced of the love story taking place here, it seemed a little frantic, a little violent, a little for the moment.

You’d think with a title like “Mourning Heaven” I would have been prepared though, especially after already having my heart shredded (in a good way) by several of Lane’s other books. I was expecting angst and pain here but I was also expecting awesomeness or at least something redeeming or hopeful to cling to throughout this sad story. But with every page angst-riddled and every character broken, tormented and grief stricken this was ultimately just exhausting.

“Oh shit he was disintegrating, dissolving, coming apart again and Peter needed to be there for once, someone needed to be there to catch Bodi as he fell. Peter was up and wrapping his arms around Bodi before one more painful word happened and Bodi was crying like he hadn’t cried when --- (spoiler) and Peter was crying with him because this was Michael Bodi was crying about and Michael had hurt and Michael had broken and he hadn’t let them fix him and now he would never be fixed and they’d always be a little bit broken in their souls where he’d left a Michael shaped hole.”

Peter moved to the small prejudiced town of Daisy at the age of 12. He’d moved around a lot in his short life and while his mother loved him she was just never able to provide for him eventually depositing him with his Aunt Aileen and her son Michael. It wasn’t all bad though because there was Michael. For Peter his cousin is the sun and the moon, he is everything good and strong and protective and right in the world. Just to hear him breathing through the thin bedroom walls at night makes him feel like everything is going to be okay. And then there’s Michael’s friend Bodi, the boy that Peter loves from the moment he sets eyes on him. Of course it’s not easy being gay in a town like Daisy the church is …well very vocal in its views on that sort of evil behavior and everyone in this backwards town goes to church so it’s not a place you want to be out.

“He’d told his mother that he thought boys were more beautiful than girls, and she’d told him that he would have to be either brave or quiet about that, especially in Daisy.”

The meat of this story however takes place years later; Peter is now 23 and the only one still living in Daisy. Michael his hero, his everything who he hasn’t seen in 6 years is finally coming home and Peter now has the task of finding Bodi and bringing him back too because Michael is coming home in a casket. Slowly we the readers learn what happened 6 years ago that splintered the trio, sending Bodi off in the middle of the night into parts unknown and Michael to the nearest recruiting office where he enlisted in the service.

Together Bodi and Peter have to get through their grief and pay homage to Michael, restoring his motorcycle and giving him a proper send-off while trying to get through the hate, ignorance and prejudice that this town tends to feed on. Bodi is so broken that it will be a miracle if he survives even with Peter’s love and Peter; well he has to learn that even heroes aren’t perfect.

3.5 Pants Off

Review: Sidecar by Amy Lane

Reviewed by Buggy
Sidecar by Amy Lane
Dreamspinner Press
Novel: 270pgs
5+ Pants Off and gone for good

Blurb:
The year is 1987. The boys wear pink Izod shirts, the girls wear big hair, everyone has a stash box, and AIDS is just an ugly rumor rumbling like a thunderstorm from the cities. A teenage runaway wanders the side of the road, a heartbeat away from despair, and is rescued by a long-haired angel on a Harley.

But that's just the beginning of their story.

Josiah Daniels wanted peace and quiet and a simple life, and he had it until he rescued Casey from hunger, cold, and exhaustion. Then Joe's life is anything but simple as he and his new charge navigate a world that is changing more rapidly than the people in it. Joe wants to raise Casey to a happy and productive adulthood, and he does. But even as an adult, Casey can't conceive of a happy life without Joe. The trouble is getting Joe to accept that the boy he nurtured is suddenly the man who wants him.

Their relationship can either die or change with the world around them. As they make a home, negotiate the new rules of growing up, and swerve around the pitfalls of modern life, Casey learns that adulthood is more than sex, Joe learns that there is no compromise in happy ever after, and they’re both forced to realize that the one thing a man shouldn’t be is alone.

Review:
Sidecar was one of those books that I couldn`t stop reading yet also wanted to put away and slowly savour because I just didn`t want it to end. I absolutely loved Casey and Joe and I`m fast approaching phonebook status with author Amy Lane, you know if she wrote a phone book I`d read it cover to cover, probably cry at the end then write a gushy fangirl review all about it. Everything she writes just grabs me by the guts, sometimes destroys me, always makes me sigh and smile and generally leaves me a hot tear streaked mess. Sidecar was no exception.

This amazing and rare story; encompassing twenty-five years of love and well, life. And because of the length of time we get to spend with our characters this also becomes more than just a story, this is a lifetime, this is every little heartache and hope and triumph. This is epic. Thanks for the ride Amy!

Ponytailed, Harley riding, bear of a man Joe Daniels is on his way home from his job as a pediatric nurse when he comes across a visibly distraught teenager on the side of the road. Joe has picked up his share of runaways over the years in this remote area, feeding them and giving them a safe place for a few days until they head out into the world again. He`s assuming this 16 year old will be the same but Casey is about to change everything.

At first Casey is wary of accepting the big hippie bikers offer, knowing some of the shit he`s had to do over the past few months just to get a meal. But he`s also reached the end of his endurance; he’s exhausted, dirty, hungry, lice riddled and reeling from the recent abuse of a trucker. He can either go back to the bridge he almost jumped off or he can go with Joe.

Casey’s story is not a revelation, on the run because his parents couldn’t accept him being gay; now all he needs is a break, just a place to make a start for himself. He`s found it with Joe and so much more. Joe doesn`t want anything from him (definitely not sex even though Casey offers) he just wants Casey to have a chance to grow up without judgement and become a good man. So Casey doesn`t leave, with Joe as his legal guardian he goes back to school, gets a job, helps remodel the house, they get a dog, he dates a few boys and life goes by.

At 27 Joe is pretty settled in his life, he works at the hospital, he likes his seclusion, he loves having Casey around and he dates a few girls and a few boys. Their relationship works, for several years it works but Casey is growing up and he`s never hidden the fact that he wants Joe. So far Joe’s been able to play it off, telling him he`s just a kid and doesn’t know what he wants and that’s where the conflict comes in because suddenly Casey isn`t a kid, suddenly, overnight (well 6 years) Casey is a man and Joe can no longer deny what s been growing between them. How it hurts now to see him with his silly boyfriends.

Gawd the moment Joe realizes that he`s in love with Casey, that he wants him is so perfect and so beautiful and so well written it makes you want to cry. I`ll be honest though I had my doubts as to whether Lane could pull off this transformation taking them from a pseudo father son relationship to lovers but I needn’t have worried and YES, Finally, the payoff for their first time together is so worth the long wait.

"I want you. I want to hold you. I’m suddenly, terrifyingly, overwhelmingly possessed with the idea of what your mouth would taste like under mine, and I don’t know how to say it or even think it.”

And still their story goes on. Joe wants a child, same sex adoption wasn`t really a thing in the nineties so that’s a problem, Joe also wants Casey to travel, to see the world and experience everything before he settles down. Casey just wants Joe and time marches on, in the blink of an eye 25 years has passed and that is life. Cheers.

SideNote- I want to mention that Amy has also included a song title for each chapter, relevant to when it takes place and what our characters are going through. And because this starts in 1986 –the year I graduated (!) I had an absolute blast with this playlist, bringing back lots of memories for me, back when I had super big hair and Corey Hart was the bomb.

5 Pants Off

Review: Chase In Shadow by Amy Lane

Guest Review by Buggy
Chase in Shadow ( Johnnies #1) by Amy Lane
Dreamspinner Press

Novel: 320pgs

Rating: 5/5

Blurb:
Chase Summers: Golden boy. Beautiful girlfriend, good friends, and a promising future.

Nobody knows the real Chase.

Chase Summers has a razor blade to his wrist and the smell of his lover’s goodbye clinging to his skin. He has a door in his heart so frightening he’d rather die than open it, and the lies he’s used to block it shut are thinning with every forbidden touch. Chase has spent his entire life unraveling, and his decision to set his sexuality free in secret has only torn his mind apart faster.

Chase has one chance for true love and salvation. He may have met Tommy Halloran in the world of gay-for-pay—where the number of lovers doesn’t matter as long as the come-shot’s good—but if he wants the healing that Tommy’s love has to offer, he’ll need the courage to leave the shadows for the sunlight. That may be too much to ask from a man who’s spent his entire life hiding his true self. Chase knows all too well that the only things thriving in a heart’s darkness are the bitter personal demons that love to watch us bleed.

Review:
Wow, what an intensely emotional, draining, yet ultimately amazing read. My first from author Amy Lane but not my last for sure, however it may take a while before I’m up to facing this sort of angst again. Yeah Chase In Shadow is heartbreaking and beautiful and damaged and gorgeous and just such a freaking hot mess, I won’t be forgetting him for a long time to come.

As much as I came to love this story I should tell you though that I had a hell of a time getting into it, and quite honestly almost gave up more than once. My initial problem was sorting out the huge cast of characters, most of whom had two names (which wasn’t explained right away) Chase is also Chance, his love interest is Tommy or Tango then we have childhood friends, porn industry friends, directors, fiancées, it took me ages to figure who was who. Compile that with a very unique style of writing that jumps from past to present with real events, dreamed events, desired events and directors cut type filmed events. The dialogue also takes some getting used to because in almost every circumstance Chase includes a “wished” internal response to what he actually says.
 

“Is there something wrong?" Donnie asked, like he was afraid of the answer.

I fell in love with a guy I met on a gay-for-pay porn set, and he cheated on me when we weren’t really a couple, because I had to leave him for my girlfriend
 

“Mercy had my dad over last night. It…it didn’t go real fuckin’ well.”

At some point though everything just clicked for me and fell in love with both the story and the uniqueness of the writing. Add to that one of the most emotionally damaged, frustrating, contradictory characters I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, a heartbreaking romance including love scenes that defy a hotness category and well, Amy Lane‘s got herself a new fan-girl.

Chase “Chance” Summers has it all….from the outside He’s young, popular, good looking and athletic with a beautiful fiancée and supportive friends. Which is just how he planned it. In between studying for his engineering degree, playing baseball and saving for a house Chase has also managed to hide an abusive, messed up childhood behind the red door (in his mind) -which, throughout the course of the book slowly gets opened. His farce of a life seems to going along just fine until he adds one more lie to his already toppling house of cards. Telling himself that it’s for the money and that he’s straight, I mean he’s got a fiancée right? Chase decides to try out the gay porn industry.

Entering “Johnnies” is a revelation because for the first time in his life Chase “Chance” feels free. In fact when he’s with another man he’s flying, but the house of cards is starting to sway. Keeping his alternate life from his girlfriend is almost too easy, which of course just makes him feel like a dick but then again he can hardly contain himself once he starts thinking about who and what he’s going to be doing during the next shoot.

Enter Tommy “Tango” Hallaron, fellow porn actor and the one Chase has been inadvertently waiting for his entire life. They fall fast and hard and Chase’s life trisects, and the house of cards shakes a bit more. His abusive father, his mother’s suicide, his porn life, his straight friends, the fact that he’s really gay, the cheating on both Mercy and Tommy. Secrets upon secrets upon secrets, something’s got to give. Throughout the utter chaos of Chase’s perfect life he hates what he’s doing to those he loves but can’t stop, can’t change and he hates himself more and the house of cards falls and the red door opens.

As you’ve assumed this story goes to some very dark places, I mean on page one he’s attempting suicide so you know you’re in for a roller coaster ride. But I never really expected the level of grief, torment and self abuse that we get to see here. Towards the end there’s a huge surprise (that I didn’t see coming) and it helps in what (Thank God) is a well, well earned HEA.
Cheers

5 Pants Off

Guest Post & Giveaway: Amy Lane (Country Mouse Blog Tour)

I am all kinds of happy in my pants to welcome Amy Lane to Pants Off, in celebration of her joint release Country Mouse with Aleksandr Voinov. I really liked Country Mouse, and you can read my review here. Amy has also brought a great giveaway and you can check the end of this post for the details.

The Joys of Travelling on a Budget

By: Amy Lane 

I forget why this suddenly became so important right before I entered the credentialing program and after I obtained my Bachelor’s degree, but suddenly it was.  Mate and I had been married for a year, and his dad had bailed on the wedding because he didn’t want to make waves with Mate’s mom, and suddenly it was terribly, painfully important for us to visit Mate’s father.  

Mate’s father lived in Delaware at the time.  We live in California.  

We were waiting tables and working in the kitchen at T.G.I. Fridays (yes, it was the late 80’s, why do you ask?) and our income was barely enough to pay my tuition.  The Internet was unheard of, which was a shame, because if anyone needed cheap airline tickets to the east coast, it was us.  We went Greyhound instead. 

Ah, the joys travelling on the bus during the burgeoning age of crack, meth, police corruption and child abuse.  A friend of ours who had grown up in the Texas projects offered us a gun.  Several times.  He just didn’t want us to go through the bus station at Chicago without one.  He seemed to feel it was important, but we declined.  

Our luggage went under the bus, and we brought two small packs, each one contained a wallet, a change of clothes, two pairs of underwear, tapes for the Walkman, a book and a beach towel.  (If only I had known how to knit back then.  I would have finished that trip with at least three pairs of socks.) The beach towels were the best things ever.  Blankets, pillows, things to wipe our hands on—they saved our necks almost as much as the music, especially when the air conditioning broke on the bus between Kansas and Chicago, when the bus was so full it was standing room only.  Hey—something was needed to sop up the sweat. 

  

Anyway, it was dismal.  We lived on vending machines, diet coke and water.  Children were free as long as they sat on their parents’ laps, so parents would board the bus with five kids and not a book or a toy in sight.  They’d bribe their kids with chocolate to stay quiet and then lose their temper when the kids lost their minds on the next three-hour stretch between stops.  Mate and I talked, played games, immersed ourselves in music and books, and generally tried to be happy because we were together. 

  

We were happy we were together.

   

We saw the Purple Mountains Majesty as the bus was climbing the Sierra Nevada, and Amber Waves of Grain as we were crossing Kansas without air conditioning.  I stayed up one night as Mate slept next to me, somewhere in Nebraska, and watched as a violet sky spat heat lightning at a plain that went on to infinity.  We made it through the crowded confines of the Chicago bus station without getting shot—and with a thorough education in how to purchase and disburse illegal substances, should that ever become something we had an interest in.  We saw a transvestite and his girlfriend cuddling sleepily as they caught the morning bus from Pittsburgh to Wilmington, perhaps two places I’d never suspect to see a transvestite, but they seemed happy nonetheless. 

When we were in Pittsburgh, I couldn’t stand it anymore.  I took my pink bandana (which was not a standard gang color, and this was really important in 1990, trust me!) a handful of Boraxo (remember that?  Powdered bleach cleanser that we used to wash our hands?) and a pop-bottle full of water and tried to bathe my pits and my creases in the metal stall of a wooden-floored bathroom while impatient women hammered on the door. While I was in there, Mate called his father from a pay phone and said we were getting close to Wilmington so his dad could pick us up.

   

“Where’s Amy?” his father’s wife asked.

  

“In the bathroom, trying to bathe,” Mate answered. 

  

Mate’s stepmother is from Wales.  She was not aware of the bathroom situation of a bus stop bathroom in Pittsburgh.  “Oh,” she said.  “Isn’t it wonderful that they have facilities like that here?” 

“No,” Mate said.  “No, they really don’t.” 

We arrived in Wilmington exhausted and stinky and desperate for a shower.  My luggage had not made one of our bus transfers.  I got my shower, but I emerged to greet my in-laws wearing my husband’s underwear, his tie-waisted parachute pants with the logo for the Rolling Stones dabbed all over in fluorescent ink, and his largest T-shirt.  Even at my thinnest I, uhm, have a couple of assets that Mate does not.  I, uhm, crossed my arms a lot.   

What followed was a lot of fun!  My luggage eventually arrived, and we had nine days to visit and explore.  We managed to get lost in Baltimore and if you ever saw Homicide: Life on the Streets, you know you did NOT want to take the wrong bus in Baltimore in 1990.  Yup.  Did that.  Lived to tell about it.  (I suggest if you’re ever on a bus in Baltimore, you pay attention to where you need to get off so that you might not experience any undue anxiety in the physical safety department, but I understand Baltimore has gotten a little less scary-nighttime-television-esque since 1990.  I’m saying prayers.) 

So anyway—that was what travelling meant to Mate and I when we were fresh out of college.  It was shoestring living, bathing in the bathroom stall, going through the Chicago bus station without a gun.  It was seat of our pants and a whole lot of faith, common sense, and a belief that we could laugh about almost anything as long as we could walk away from it intact.   

It worked for us.  It gave us one hell of a story.  It was something you do when you’re young and brave.  

It was that sort of attitude that I wanted to give Owen in Country Mouse.  I wanted him to be a little anxious and a little brave, and a lot willing to be impressed by this new and exciting place he’s found himself in.  With that in mind, when he meets Malcolm, he’s ready to be impressed but not run over, enchanted but not taken advantage of, thrilled by something new, but only on his own terms.   

Malcolm does a bang-up job of giving Owen exactly what he needs—but first he has to adjust his thinking.  Just like my in-laws had to accept that the loud-mouthed woman wearing the Rolling Stones pants might actually have something to offer my beloved Mate, Malcolm had to accept that Owen really had enough spine to be someone who matters.  And just like I had to let my in-laws take me to the mall and buy me some clothes (and holy blessed Jebus a frickin bra!), Owen needed to allow Malcolm to take the lead and offer him some blessings from a home that Malcolm loved. 

  

Travelling when you’re young and inexperienced is fun, flighty, and frightening—but it’s also something you put in your back pocket, that doesn’t weigh a thing, and that you can pull out and examine for the rest of your life.   

Hopefully the souvenir that Owen gets in Country Mouse is something he deems worth keeping.  

Amy Lane exists happily with her noisy family in a crumbling suburban crapmansion, and equally happily with the surprisingly demanding voices who live in her head. She loves cats, movies, yarn, pretty colors, pretty men, shiny things, and Twu Wuv, and despises house cleaning, low fat granola bars, and vainglorious prickweenies. She can be found at her computer, dodging housework, or simultaneously reading, watching television, and knitting, because she likes to freak people out by proving it can be done.

You can find Amy at:

Her website: Green's Hill 

Her blog: Yarning to Write 

Twitter: amymaclane 

Facebook: Amy Lane

Country Mouse: Owen may be a bit of a country mouse, but he’s loving his vacation in London. After a long day playing tourist, he’s on the hunt for some cheap beer and a good burger. Instead he finds a man hunting him, an arrogant prick with only one thing on the brain: the kind of meat that doesn’t come on a bun. 

Eighty-hour weeks at a trading desk don’t leave Malcolm Kavanagh much time for meaningful relationships. Besides, in his world, everything’s a competition—even sex. When his newest one-night-sub fails to show, Malcolm sets his sights on the pretty young Yank on the bar stool beside him. 

Owen’s all for an adventure with a native, but he’s not the pushover Malcolm thinks he is, and Malcolm’s not as shallow as he tries to be. They both soon learn that nothing's too intimate to share with a stranger, and the strangest things happen when two people share the most important pieces of their hearts. 

*Amy Lane and Aleksandr Voinov are releasing Country Mouse this week, available from Riptide Books.  If you’d like to win a piece of yummy Country Mouse swag, simply comment on this post and I’ll pick a random commenter to win!*