I have Andrea Speed today on the blog as a part of her Josh of the Damned virtual blog tour. I recently just read Josh of the Damn series, and reviewed the latest offering Triple Feature. Please give a warm welcome to Andrea!
I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you check out the Josh of the Damned Triple Feature.
The werepanda was sitting in the back corner, where the freezer case and the end of medicine aisle met. Since we had no bamboo – and no carrion – I decided to throw it another stick of beef jerky, 'cause that was close enough to a dead animal, right? It sniffed it, then managed to pick it up in his big paws and started gnawing it. The weird thing? Well, weirdest thing …. it was kinda adorable. I mean, a roly poly panda eating a Slim Jim! How is that not cute? I took a little film of it on my phone, or as much as the dimensional distortion would let me. A zombie came in and looked at me funny, but otherwise it ignored the panda, and the panda ignored it. I guess zombies and pandas weren't natural enemies.
The panda was still working on the beef jerky when Colin turned up, and I showed him the new store mascot. “Are there werepandas?” I asked, showing him the shredded remains of Dan's clothes in the back room.
He frowned in a sexy vampire way, and sniffed the air. “I've never heard of such a thing. But yes, it smells like he is.”
“How the hell did that happen?”
Colin just shrugged. “Got me. I don't know why werewolves exist either.”
Still, this just seemed weird to me Okay, weirder than most.. “You think he was bit by a panda?”
“Well, they are bears. Not the most active or vicious of the breed, but still.” After thinking about it a moment, he said, “I wonder if there's werepolarbears.”
Good question. How weird would that be? Actually, now that Colin put the idea in my head, I can't stop thinking about it. Are there werearmadillos? Weresquirrels? Werekoalas? Which would be the weirdest and yet most adorable thing you could be? Oh, and useless. There's no getting around the useless.
Luckily, Dan turned back into a human before Jorge came in for his morning shift. I guess the best thing you can say about being a werepanda are the effects don't last too long. Colin hung around, and helped me explain to Dan his new circumstances, and why he's been living over in the hell dimension. He didn't believe us at first, but then I showed him his shredded clothes and the video I shot of him in panda form, and he seemed to accept it. He also said something that sounded a lot like, “Oh Ling-Ling, how could you?” But when I asked what he said, he denied saying anything at all.
Since then, Dan has been coming by with some regularity, although I've yet to see him in his panda form again, as he usually gets out of here before he shifts. Which is a shame, 'cause my video of him as a panda eating beef jerky has a million hits on YouTube.
Come to think of it, maybe I shouldn't tell him about that. He might want a cut of the merchandising.
The End (Or is it ..?)
Andrea has brought a giveaway, so be sure to leave a comment on this post to win one of her backlist books *they are quite excellent*. Also be sure to check out the other blog stops for a greater chance to win.